Inventory, dreams, initiation

"Isn't it exasperating to go to the grocery for an item, only to find the shelf empty? Fortunately, grocers can correct that situation by taking inventory to learn which shelves need replenishment."
- February 24, Courage to Change 

Sometimes it doesn't take much of a nudge to get my hand sewing genes primed. Picking up a thought, or a bit of an email laying it beside a quote out of a book and off I go with a patch over a tee shirt -- a successful rescue. The quote that leads this post comes from the Al-Anon handbook I have carried for many years. It survives my many travels, moves and evolving spiritual journey. Today's reading began with the quote above. The last two sentence in the body of the reading are these:

"By taking inventory, my empty spots can be filled with the help of the remaining Steps. I experience the healing power of these Steps whenever the formerly hurtful circumstances recur while the pain that I once felt does not." 

I'm freshly up from a night of dreams. Last night, or early this morning I was being initiated into a tribe, the newly chosen mate needing to be shown the protocol, the ropes and the rituals. In the dream I am a grown woman with a grown son at my side. The first to meet me with a clipboard to assess me (taking inventory) is a man in a tan plaid flannel shirt. His hair is black and hangs just below his shoulders. His demeanor is just this side of neutral, but, he is not cold either.

My son in the dream is skeptical, but says nothing. We are sent to a corral. The details are fading, but we're to ride (a horse?) around the coral. "Seems doable," I say to my son. The ground is deep sand. He is skeptical not convinced, and gives me a smirk. We are instructed to ride the horse in reverse

The feeling I have as I wake is one of refreshment. Not in like having a soothing drink on a hot day, but kinda. It's more like, okay at this stage and this age I'm still "being chosen" (the guy was ... well, he suit my fancy), and Initiation into a new tribe is a theme that interests me.

Back in the daylight hours where email and blog posts offer threads that might entice, I found this about "Uranus in Aries and the Cosmic Soup" on Donna Cunningham's Skywriter.

Quote Credit

Donna opens her post on Uranus in Aries with an invitation to her readers to engage in a thread of what it's like with the Planet of Change (Uranus) stirring things up in the Mars(action) driven sign of Aries the Ram (often characterized with the emotion of rage.)  "  It’s time for a taste test of the current batch of Cosmic Soup. What’s that, you ask?  It’s that big vat of feelings and situations simmering on the back burner in our Collective Kitchen all the time. We’re all feeding on it. What’s in the pot changes every day, and we don’t know what we’ll get, but the pot is always there. There was obviously a lot stewing for us Skywriter readers for the thread is well past 40 comments.

Donna's post gave me a piece of metaphoric thread to tie my process of inventorying my empty spots. At the moment a huge, long transit of self-worth and value is filling in places on my core shelving; my backbone is being aligned, the mo'o is flexing, my sense of worth redefining. I use the writing of medicine stories to create the remedies, to heal. I do put the rage onto the page, and my stage? It's the blog, the audience is an unknown form of support, I know not who you are but have faith you who read are just where you need to be. I write for the right reasons and healing comes while the pain lessens even though circumstances repeat.

When I first discovered Donna Cunningham's astrology site I was struggling to accept it was a time to learn to float. My go-to astrologer Elsa P, had begun teaching me about floating.  Donna had a different approach to navigating with the sky, and is closer to my age and in the general physical vicinity. So with time, and a consistent internet relationship Donna joined an on-line writing group with me. We got to know each other as writers away from astrology. For me that connection and the creation of support available through on-line formats was the creative waterhole that fed my writing of more than a dozen medicine stories. I left this comment on Donna's post about Uranus in Aries: "...I love hearing you are writing that novel. When Uranus entered Aries I began to write for all the right reasons. Aries spans my 3rd and 4th Houses and thanks to this post I can reflect and appreciate the change in communication styles that drew the stories wanting to be told. “Retired and resouled” I believe is what began and continues to happen with Uranus in Aries. The Saturn and Neptune square helps a lot with that too as the watery and illusive(Neptune) support(Saturn) feeds the Medicine Stories that could never be written while I was a business woman pounding my head against that glass ceiling.

What I’m learning with Uranus in Aries is to take all the roads and flow around those that will not fit into logical progress; the voices of the interstitial love taking all roads across a border! I am forgetting things, and glory to the gods there are so many other options cued up for the extra space..." Donna replied: "Hi, Moki, we seem to be on similar paths–but then we always were, weren’t we? Retired and resouled, for sure!

I'm feeling the message of my initiation dream last night was cautioning me while soothing my long-suffering heart. Attracted and being attractive is a good thing. What attracts, and what affect the sweet thing has on me is another. For so long I worked for money, power and recognition. A brown woman in a suit pounding her head against that glass ceiling. Auwe!! With Uranus transiting as I describe in my comment to Donna Cunningham, I am finally writing as a 'retired and resouled' brown woman comfortable in her night clothes and no underwear (shoooo ... don't tell:); and learning to listen to tough tiny birds.

What's the taste of Cosmic Soup like for you? Any dreams of donuts lately?