Now for something completely different!

Midst the deep and ancient dreams I've been having, and the aches that only prove I'm still alive though pained Pluto in Capricorn has brought old, not quite vintage, old dames into our lives. Hauling old things around is not a new thing for us, and among them is the hand-me-down television set from our friends in Everett. The set, mostly color, though it does sometimes waiver and we have a flash back to black and white. Perhaps the old tubes are cold or damp from the shared residence that television set experiences in our wash house. Onward ... once a day, after the sun is set and our dinner et we plug in the old t.v. fiddle with the cords from the d.v.d. player and settle on the futon for a nightly dose of some old, or new, movie. Recently our entertainment has been episodes from the 1990's Brit cooking show TWO FAT LADIES.

Pete and I started watching the outrageously funny women on BBC when we lived in Iao Valley on the island of Maui. It was 1996 and we were two not quite young nor not quite old dears beginning a life together. After days of work at the hotel where we both worked once a week their capricious romps on Jennifer Patterson's motorbike with Clarissa Dickson Wright packed snug with her leather helmet in the sidebar was pure entertainment. Looking back at those Iao Valley times and the episodes of the Two Fat Ladies is rather like appreciating life, food, conversation and the odd conventions we all consider and too often judge. Pete said last night, "We should buy ourselves these videos." He was surprised and nightly delighted at the old-fashioned hands on and absolutely devoid of politically correct choices of ingredients, and opinions. Both ingredients and opinions being strong, and liberally funny.

The cooking show ran on BBC for four seasons, but ended unexpectedly when only four weeks after she was diagnosed with lung cancer, Jennifer Patterson died of the disease. She was a heavy and unapologetic smoker. According to the Guardian's account of Patterson's death, she is quoted as having said, "Thousands die from smoking each year, but knowing this I continue to smoke myself. It is my informed decision." The second half of the two fat ladies, Clarissa Dickson Wright was a fine balance of visual example wearing bluntly cut not quite blond hair with little or no makeup, a single ring on her pinkie contrasting Patterson's darkly colored black hair held back in a pony tail, with large black rimmed glasses, glossy red lipstick with manicured nails to match and emeralds on her fingers. Their physical appearance and their zest for life and conversations spread liberally with lyrics from Portugal or Ireland made the Two Fat Ladies a source for cult followers.

These women were(are) cooks, not chefs. That was an important point. Jennifer and Clarissa loved to cook with their hands in the works, fondling raw fish for bones being one of those tips that really made a hit with me. (I have found too many fish bones in my throat!) We're on the third of four seasons now, and though the choices we make today about what we eat might exclude some of the meats and a pound of the butter, the two fat women's facility and joy for food is something worth savoring. Their techniques (stomping dried bread in a wrapped bag for bread crumbs, hand pressing lovely pastry on a tablecloth) and their conversations embrace the potential to be fully alive beings. The production and assembly of film is an illusion, I know, I know. But, sometimes that's exactly what one needs. "Now for something completely different!"

Allergic to bitterness? What to do about it

"Every member of my immediate family spent years wallowing in bitterness—except for the two of us that are still alive. Living in a family like that is like living on a toxic waste dump. Bitterness poisons your relationships, your daily life, your chances of a better tomorrow, and even your health.
A strong natal Pluto or a series of long, slow Pluto aspects by transit can provide clues to areas where bitterness can build up over time if you let it—and where your repetitive thoughts and feelings may wind up being a daily dose of self-administered arsenic...Being a Plutonian person by birth and family legacy, growing up in a cesspool of bitterness made me wildly allergic to being around it. I don’t quite break out in a rash, thankfully, because there are no shots for that. But my stomach churns and I can hardly breathe.

"The most important part of getting free of resentment and bitterness is persistence in noticing as quickly as possible that you’re slipping into it. Then yank yourself right out of that rut and get to work on understanding what’s going on inside you to create that emotion. - Donna Cunningham

My former writing buddy and internationally respected Donna Cunningham lives in Portland. The other day another of my writing buddies and long-time friend was talking about Portland as a place she's focused on these days. Seems the drive between her home and Seattle has turned from long, but tolerable, to insanely intolerable. So she's weighing up a change in venue for entertainment and fun: Portland and points south. With Portland on my mind and the wind blowing ferociously through the trees here I went searching Donna Cunningham's astrology blog for something to help rid me of a bitter taste in my mouth: Pluto!

The paragraph that opens Cunningham's post "Purge Yourself of Pluto’s Negativity—Get Free of Bitterness" begins with her family of origin. For all the good that is my family legacy there was also that "like living on a toxic waste dump" inheritance that I must be oh so very conscious of. Dangling participle? Yes, but worse than that is the predisposition to remain forever bitter. The season of damp and cold can trigger Pluto in its most destructive manifestations. Or, on the flip side  choosing Mars(action) coupled with Pluto(deep transformation) can be, according to Cunningham, "the manifestation magnet. In birth charts, it is the aspect of a magician, and that’s true for transits as well.  It’s  inherently neither a positive nor a negative aspect. Some use it against themselves and others, attracting destructive outcomes by obsessing on resentments. They generally have no awareness of the consequences of dwelling in such negativity. Others who have it natally use the combination for good by consciously and conscientiously focusing on healing and transformation."

I felt myself triggered by the allergic reaction of bitterness the other day. So close to being sweetly successful I felt the reaction that swells up from bitterness-- the habit. I'm recovering well today, my personal boat visualization is intact; aware of the habit and wise enough today to recognize the manifestation of Pluto for what it is. Whew! Donna Cunningham's article and links to many other Pluto-rich posts is here for you to follow up if you think (or know) you might be allergic to bitterness and ready to point to something sweeter.

NEW MOON in Capricorn: January 11, 2013Baffled landscape of nightmare and dream

"While our intellect chases its bright and lofty visions, our most original, powerful ideas tend to rise from muddy, murky depths below: from the clouded waters of the subconscious; from the baffling landscape of nightmare and dream; from the odd obssessions, weird fixations, and uncanny flashes of intuition that rise up from those strange parts of ourselves that we know and approve of least; from those places most likely to make us feel ridiculous, and exposed. The muse, if we follow her far enough, and honestly enough, demands that we bare it all: our angel wings and our asses' ears. It doesn't matter if we're writing genre fiction and not memoir; it doesn't matter if we're painting fairy tales and not self-portraits. "All art is autobiographical," said Federico Fellini; "the pearl is the oyster's autobiography." - from "Dare to be Foolish" Myth and Moor, Terri Windling

There's a lot going on at the deep and muddy depths with so much planetary action involving Pluto (deep) Saturn (responsibility) Capricorn (more responsibility and commitment). With the New Moon in Capricorn coming up on January 11, 2013 Elsa P. wrote

...The Sun and Moon meet at 21 degrees Capricorn, joining Venus, Mercury and Pluto in the sign.  Mars is in Aquarius, the other Saturn-ruled sign, so the emphasis on Saturn here is off the charts....

Elsa goes on in that post with some ideas about how to make use of this New Moon based on which house is affected for you personally. Click on the link above for those ideas. The New Moon in Capricorn will be in my 1st House so I'm going to need to take responsibility and lead. For me, this means taking care of how I appear as I 'lead' and manage. Capricorn spans my 12th house (deep emotions and secrets) and 1st house (how I appear, who I am). Thing is at this stage in my life, some of my emotions have been locked up and in many ways I've told a lot of lies I've come to believe. One of the most effective ways for me to come to terms with the depths of myself is through storytelling, and in particular the writing of fiction.

Here is an excerpt from my medicine story and fairy tale The Safety Pin Cafe: "Did you know humans are the only animals who deny their own metamorphosis?" I was ill-prepared for the question though Raven had not left my side since the old Gypsy woman finished with her reading, and that comforted me. Was it just a reading? "It was just that," The Lady answered and motioned to Raven as she pat the empty seat next to her. I felt his gloved hand on my right elbow but remained where I was. "I want to think about what you asked, Raven." It was the first time I'd addressed him directly and meaning no disrespect for The Lady, this was another of those inordinate questions; not common I believed. I thought of my hens who were molting, dropping feathers rather than eggs. They were not so much changing as the caterpillar became winged, but my hens knew their place and their timing...

At this stage of life, using the effective routes to metamorphosis or creativity is still a juggling act and it matters that I am gentle with my wishes. Because, like they say 'be careful what you wish for.' We, anyone of us, can and has been a faceless woman or man. Terri Windling's opening quotation from Dare to be foolish is the potent potion that I take to both allow me to scream when an offense is true for me and dare to write fiction as a way through the nightmare of being unseen, unheard, unknown.

Behind the scenes, and as I work on my New Moon in Capricorn project, I take my own medicine written in the form of The Safety Pin Cafe. Please note dear  Readers: The ten-doses of the medicine story The Safety Pin Cafe [go to the sidebar on the right, click on each dose to read] will remain here until the end of January, 2013. After that it will go to the backroom where I and my collaborators conjure the story's metamorphosis.

How will you be using the energy of the Capricorn New Moon?


Photo Credit: http://www.newsrealblog.com/2010/10/29/1-34/

Pluto working in Capricorn in my 12H

I had a large and scary panic attack last night, and could find no comfort as I felt the worst of it.  Pete lay beside me but could not 'reach' the pain or the scariness.  I finally sat up and realized it would be better to sleep electrically unplugged because there was just too much going on inside to manner.  It's been a long time since I've had a panic attack, and reliving the ones already experienced doesn't help! 

DREAM:  Standing in a cafeteria line looking for things to eat.  Noticing a boy with a large plate of iceberg lettuce and tomatoes and thinking "That's different."  The soup or chilli didn't appeal to me.  Thoughts of an old friend, Ermalinda came, and maybe she could make me a half sandwich (white bread?) and cold cuts.  Ultimately, I don't think I ate anything in the dream. 

I'm having difficulty knowing what I can eat.  Sensitive and over the top with foods that are not otherwise 'bland'.  I know that food has triggered other panics in the past. 

PLUTO transits my 12th House MOON and CAPRICORN, and will be deep and heavy for years.  That's what happening and getting deeper is the only direction Pluto goes when transiting.  Dark and deep stuff.  Rain is making things darker still here in the forest.  Isolated.  Yet, I have plans to go bowling on Tuesday, for fun, AND the new weekly Tickle Lines are posted and available to prime the writing pumps of pals who keep me company.

This link from PT about "Meaning as Medicine" was inspiring. http://planetthrive.com/2008/07/meaning-as-medicine-in-chronic-illness/.

Whew.

Sense your place

"There are a multiple of steps that make a human Sensitive’s life less convenient and requires living by the rules of sequential access. A Sensitive lives the prototype transitional human experience…less convenience more consciousness. Like Gypsies throughout the history on The Planet, Sensitives often become Gypsies who choose to be Travellers not just because houses and walled structures create ill-ness. Sensitives like Lokea Bird find that the seed of migration has waited until the spell was broken."

-from Wood Crafting the Tale

Papa Honua (the planet Earth) is an enduring place. She is a gift and gift-giver, mother and nurturer and she is not alone in her place. She is part of Ever and Ever and is affected by the connection to all the cosmic orbs and energy of the space that Kanaka Maoli (first people of the islands known commonly as Hawaii) know as 'aina (that which sustains us; including the ground and dirt, rocks, growing plants, the sea, the waters both salty and fresh, the air, the mists, the foods that grow in the water ...) in essence Papa Honua is connected to all that is. The Kanaka have been occupied by a culture that values 'aina not. The history of the islands and the sustaining culture of the Kanaka Maoli has not only been paved over to build parking lots, hotels, mansions and multiplex every sort of thing. The islands' history and culture has been infused with the same values of commerce and over-arching greed same as much of the industrial world.

My son and I were out for a Thanksgiving Day walk in the Mill Town. He flew to Washington to spent time with me, Pete and in separate visits he spent time with his Dad. The walk we took that Thanksgiving morning included the sort of conversation a mother values as much as a good deep inhalation of fresh air. My son was born not far from this Mill Town and was raised in a community where he and I were the exception to the rule at that time: we were brown and though his father is native Northwest white, there has always been something different about us. Ultimately, that something was the seed of Kanaka Maoli that lay dormant for the first two decades of his life and mine. I made a choice to seek other experiences and these Northwest communities including the Mill Town opened a world unlike the island home I'd known. Now my son has chosen to move from the Pacific Northwest to create a life in the Hawaiian Islands. He has been there more than six years now. As I observe the life he is creating, that seed of culture has sprouted, rooted and born fruits of a new generation of creativity. My son offers me a view of what it's like for the new generation of Hawaiian who has been swirled with the genes and experiences of the continent.

The conversation that Thanksgiving morning bumped into the subject of "the aloha spirit" a phrase that is all too vanilla an expression coined by the occcupying culture of tourism and real estate

My son said something like, "They (the locals, the Hawaiians) don't even know what that means. They don't show it, act it ...I've been struck by how friendly people here are."

I thought about what he said for a few moments and offered this, "The culture has been so long occupied by the values of greed and control, it's really tough if not impossible for them to know what aloha is. Hawaii is an occupied nation, and the thing is so is the rest of the world now ..."

"Hmmm ... yah, like that's the norm now." He said.

"Yup."

Visits with my son are few, and each one more precious than the last. I think we both acknowledge the fragility of physical life because he has seen me go through many many transformations. He is always the first one to visit us where ever on Papa Honua we are. I have committed to keeping no secrets from this boy, this young man, in the hope that the depth and breath of my experiences can serve me as a sturdy yet flexible foundation. I think he will need that to make adjustments during the next two decades. Sensing his place on the Planet I witness how my son expands his roots. I also see that him testing the flexibility of his hybrid culture. I would like to see and smell him using no chemicals and fragrances and hope in time the example of my life with chemical sensitivities will give him reason to make changes.

The planets, the 'aina, the seeds of culture that remembers the truth about humans' role as part of the Earth's destiny, will know that there are seasons when beings estivate or hibernate to survive cycles of hardship. In spite of all odds, the dandelions, the ohi'a lehua, the frogs and Earth's first people carry the seeds of Grace. This piece is as much a prayer ... saying, "I believe" and an affirmation that "Yes, I have woken from the spell." Occupation is real and is a debilitating condition that too many people experience. America the Nation and its systems of "occupation" are in the early stages of spell-breaking. Cosmic cycles do for the whole what the whole seems not to be willing to do without intervention. Tiny Pluto is now occupying space in the celestial arena of the constellation Capricorn. Big intervention will have a role in doses of spell-breaking in big and small places. If you are not sure of your place, a good direction to look is inside and then out ... what seeds within your world are worth nurturing and where will you plant them?

Mokihana