I had a large and scary panic attack last night, and could find no comfort as I felt the worst of it. Pete lay beside me but could not 'reach' the pain or the scariness. I finally sat up and realized it would be better to sleep electrically unplugged because there was just too much going on inside to manner. It's been a long time since I've had a panic attack, and reliving the ones already experienced doesn't help!
DREAM: Standing in a cafeteria line looking for things to eat. Noticing a boy with a large plate of iceberg lettuce and tomatoes and thinking "That's different." The soup or chilli didn't appeal to me. Thoughts of an old friend, Ermalinda came, and maybe she could make me a half sandwich (white bread?) and cold cuts. Ultimately, I don't think I ate anything in the dream.
I'm having difficulty knowing what I can eat. Sensitive and over the top with foods that are not otherwise 'bland'. I know that food has triggered other panics in the past.
PLUTO transits my 12th House MOON and CAPRICORN, and will be deep and heavy for years. That's what happening and getting deeper is the only direction Pluto goes when transiting. Dark and deep stuff. Rain is making things darker still here in the forest. Isolated. Yet, I have plans to go bowling on Tuesday, for fun, AND the new weekly Tickle Lines are posted and available to prime the writing pumps of pals who keep me company.
This link from PT about "Meaning as Medicine" was inspiring. http://planetthrive.com/2008/07/meaning-as-medicine-in-chronic-illness/.
Whew.
DREAM: Standing in a cafeteria line looking for things to eat. Noticing a boy with a large plate of iceberg lettuce and tomatoes and thinking "That's different." The soup or chilli didn't appeal to me. Thoughts of an old friend, Ermalinda came, and maybe she could make me a half sandwich (white bread?) and cold cuts. Ultimately, I don't think I ate anything in the dream.
I'm having difficulty knowing what I can eat. Sensitive and over the top with foods that are not otherwise 'bland'. I know that food has triggered other panics in the past.
PLUTO transits my 12th House MOON and CAPRICORN, and will be deep and heavy for years. That's what happening and getting deeper is the only direction Pluto goes when transiting. Dark and deep stuff. Rain is making things darker still here in the forest. Isolated. Yet, I have plans to go bowling on Tuesday, for fun, AND the new weekly Tickle Lines are posted and available to prime the writing pumps of pals who keep me company.
This link from PT about "Meaning as Medicine" was inspiring. http://planetthrive.com/2008/07/meaning-as-medicine-in-chronic-illness/.
Whew.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Speak from the heart