E Ho`a`o no i paukuhihewa ... Try it, and rid yourself of illusions

The four full moons of Hina and the start of La'au Moons (today) have been brilliant in their illumination.  Writing behind-the-scenes I am freed in a way that shifts my perspective.  For example, the 'Olelo No'eau 'E Ho'a'no i paukuhihewa' has been part of this blog from the start three years ago. At different times it has meant different things.  I began to blog because there were so many things that made no sense to me.  My senses were out of whack, my definitions screwed and my sense of balance and safety less than zero.  "Try it, and rid yourself of illusions."  Try what?  What illusions?

Over the days, nights, weeks, months, and years the answers to those questions have been try everything, and notice that almost everything is an illusion.  Now, as the La'au Moons of Makahiki, and by the Gregorian Calendar, October 15, 2011, I prepare to use my o'o to rid myself of more illusions.  I have purchased the interactive DVD program created by Ashtok Gupta called the Gupta Brain Retraining Program.  Linking to the Gupta site will explain the program.  To commit to this program means I must make it a priority in my life for six months, or more.  Many people on healing journeys from MCS (and other illnesses including CFS) have recovered significant well-being and even feel cured of their illness because of this brain retraining program. 

I have noticed and followed the progress of several people including several internet friends who are better and better having completed, and practice the process included in the Gupta program.  My choice to begin this program comes now when several pieces of my life have reset my foundations.  I think these things have prepared me to take this next step:

1. I have a home.  Slow and steady progress has created a place of stability.  Everything being relative, our tiny spaces life is a place where I know there is safety and comfort most of the time. More than twelve months of this new normal is a cornerstone of healing.
2. Reconnecting with Mahina.  The years of reconnecting with Hina, and the ancient lunar calendar/universe of tracking time has assured me than somethings remain constant even when the human life appears to disintegrate.  Nothing completely disappears, instead, forms change, time changes.  Becoming aware and then becoming intimate with Hina's relationship with all that is has shored me up in deep ways.  My cultural inheritance, my tap root has been affirmed.  I don't look for others to affirm my worth, I look within and can believe in somethings sight unseen.
3. We have the resources to pay.  This is a valuable lesson:  'pay your way.'  It may appear, and it has felt that way, that we have suffered immense loss.  We have.  And yet, the 'olelo "E Ho'a'o no i paukuhihewa"  beats even as I suffer/endure.  What is the illusion?  It seems the illusion is that without all our former comforts (a home, a family, a persona, our perceived entitlements, our health) we could not be happy-free-okay.  Now, our reset values has us living on two Social Security checks that total less than $2,000 a month, we have connection with a community that is knowing and including us and especially Pete in their circle.  Our priorities have changed.  We are able to live and can pay for the $199 Brain Retraining program.
4. We have the technical equipment to view this DVD program.  A laptop or computer, or DVD player have not been a constant 'given' till now.  I needed one or another of these pieces of equipment before commiting. 

With those four cornerstones in place, and some time with the practice of 'Plan Be' ... Be Positive, Be Prepared, Believe, a positive shift in my attitude has been slowing becoming mine.  I have felt the benefit of a shift in attitude and then felt the benefit shift when recent events turned me upsidedown and awful.  'Awful' can happen and feels especially bad after feeling the opposite, even for a little while.  Mahina the moon is not only watched, she watches and that is what she has been doing for me.  She watched and while the Growing Moons of Anahulu Poepoe grew into "Hoku" and "Mahealani" I felt and heard her message to grow the belief of well-being from within.  So, Makua O'o is closed publicly, but grows within, behind-the-scenes.  Sight unseen, I prepare for a new year.  Perhaps with time, my private journaling will see the light of a cybernetic day. 

Moon in June

Our weekend of celebrating our first year here in the woods was a two-day party, cooking and sitting to eat and tell stories at the new orchard table (which now has a fine long bench to go along with it!).  My universe, our universe, the Universe seems to expand with abundance.  Information flowing full-flood during this June with New Moon in Gemini has indeed birthed so many connections.  Pacing the flow is my challenge, but I am excited by the huge sweep of traditional mana'o timing itself so this makua continues to feel alive.  I'm just up from a late afternoon nap, the glory of getting older and mostly-retired and revelling in study is soul sweet stuff for me.  Pete is off on a late evening ferry ride to participate in community discourse in Mukilteo:  there is an issue of the table he has followed for months, and he wants to be there to track and in-put his dime's worth.  It's an equivalent sort of sweet for him.

When I began blogging here at Makua O'o, these pages were a place to anchor my spiritual practice while the physical world we'd known came mostly undone.  Not wishing at this time to recount that journey it is enough, I feel, to say we have learned through first-hand experiences many things we do not want.  Now, the practice of using the tools of makua give me a chance to keep learning, and publishing.  Blogging is an awesome sample of the criss-crossing and dot connecting nature of a Universe ever-birthing.  I am in the process of learning and integrating the mana'o of two of my contemporary, living heroines:  Rubellitte Kawena Johnson and Pua Kanahele.  Both women draw from both kanaka and western spheres of the educational universe.  Those spheres have been my wells of knowledge as well though my gifts have been tapped differently than these two.  My 'degrees' are mostly internal and my journeying has always been through storytelling.  I continue that through blogs, and now on-line study workshops.

Capricorn-based as I am with my moon and ascendent in Capricorn in the 12th house of depth, and the Saturn task master liberal in my astrology, I teach and I heal, I heal and I teach.  Slowly and steadily I heal from the effects of an illness and reaction to the environment and re-learn my place in my universe, and the Universe.  It's important to know the space that is 'my' universe and feel-sense-connect with the bigger Universe in a personal way.  Having been through the experiences of disconnection, diagnosis and healing there is a sense of urgency and a strangely calm symphonic to what comes after -- what is coming now.  That might be the glory of aging!  Or, maybe just the aging in reverse that is often characteristic of Capricorn's who endure?

Na Po Mahina and the Universe

The regularity of Mahina's crossing the sky began our re-membering time.  We watched her, felt her and counted on her while we lived open to the world ... vulnerable in all ways and somehow, stronger because we were turned in-side out like all babies.  Huli,up-ended and birthed again.  Sources seen and unseen help every step along the way contractions and galloping momentum pushes me forward.  What a ride!

More tools for the Makua

Lunar Return Reports
Over on the side-bar (to the right) is a NEW LINK to Lunar Return Reports from Elsa P.  creator and author of the first astrology blog.  Yes, she wrote 'em when the blog was a new word, a new world.  I am using these reports as a new tool, another one.  Elsa's helped a lot over the years, maybe these reports are a tool you could use.  They're very inexpensive and filled with monthly insight.

Monthly On-line Workshops-Study Groups
Count On The Moon "The Blessings of Emptiness" or "'Ole Mahalo" was our first workshop based on the Kanaka's Universe.  The focus was the Hawaiian Moon Calendar.  The blog-workshop venue is growing and progressive, and exciting.  A small group is consistently finding the rhythm of attuning to Mahina, the connection with cycles and the cultivation of their space/place in the Universe.

The current monthly workshop Malama I Ka Ha has just included the mana'o and teachings of Kumu Kawena Johnson, and with this new teaching the meaning and vibracy of the Kumulipo (the 2000 + lines of the Hawaiian Creation Chant) takes on personal meaning.

I am in love with learning, and find stability in discovering connections.  Are you connected?  And to who and what are you connected?

Feel the heartbeart of the Culture ... Personal Retreats during the 'Ole Cycle of Mahina

The practice of Counting on the Moon

What is an 'Ole Cycle?

'Ole is the Hawaiian word, pronounced OH-LAY with the emphasis on the OH, meaning 'without or empty.' In the context of this article 'Ole Cycle' refers to the the 'empty cycles' of the moon's near thirty-day appearance and relationship with planet Earth. We see the moon appear smaller or larger in the sky because of her reflection of light from the Sun. Ancient peoples, as are the Kanaka Maoli, my ancestors the Hawaiians, have long been observant and in tune with the Moon, Mahina, and her affect on life on Earth and beings living on Earth. Mahina affects the tides, Mahina affects the tide and water both on our planet and in our bodies. Fisher folk and farmers tend to their lives with awareness of Mahina.

The 'Ole Cycle(s) are the non-productive times of planting and fishing times when the seas, and the soil are left to replenish and as well, the kanaka rests from new projects/work. Hawaiians like my ancestors and now, Hawaiians like myself, make time to s l o w down and reconnect with nature especially during the two 'Ole Cycles within a thirty-day cycle. There are two 'Ole Cycles, one cycle is four-days/nights long and happens seven nights after any New Moon. The other 'Ole Cycle is three-days/nights long and begins twenty-one days after any New Moon. The four-days/nights of 'Ole have just passed.

The wisdom that has grown from my personal practice of non-production during the 'Ole Cycle began that winter of 2007, when all possibilities of returning to the way things used to be went up in a toxic drift. My husband and I have suffered and survived loss upon loss since that pesticide poisoning in Ka`aawa. We are worn from the turn of tides that wiped friendships, family connection and pre-conceived entitlements. Life compressed, relief and then remedy came because we were called -- shouted at, to live intimately with the Earth. With nothing to count on, we came to count on the Moon. My son's focused remark "Do no new projects during the 'Ole," gave me a talisman of time upon which I could begin to 'be like nature.'

Given all the uncontrollable events, choices and outcomes of our nomadic life, there were seven days and nights in any thirty days and nights when we could tap into the energy of something more powerful than loss. Four times following an empty sky (New Moon) we became 'ole, emptied of fear, emptied of deciding, emptied of trying to make things different. Again later in the journey of the Moon on her way to becoming empty, we had three times (day and night) when we became 'ole, emptied of fear, emptied of deciding, emptied of trying to make things different. This three 'ole cycle was also an especially auspicious time, and a time to offer pule (prayers) to the Akua of planting and nourishment. I began to be more conscious of these prayer times, and called particularly on those Akua. At first, I forgot to pray, and lost track of Mahina. She minded not. Next cycle she was there, wherever we were parked, the Moon was present. Slowly, month by month the cycles became more a part of us. We noticed. I felt the cycles, and knew when it was time to empty and be with the 'ole.

The practice now

Personal Retreat, Powerful Emptying

This four-days and nights of 'Ole just passed were a powerful time of emptying. Conscious and compassionate, I made time for Retreating, drawing in to listen intuitively and quieted the clamber of external shouts and demands.

Rest

Life with MCS is difficult. With time and attending the symptoms of this illness calm and improve, but my experience is the symptoms persist or change. Much like life itself, this illness changes and because we live on the fringe of society in nearly every definition, our well-being is not guaranteed by a health care provider or insurance co-payment. We have long since been able to pay for or use the services of doctor or dentist. Instead, our well-being is most dependent upon our being able to rest and sleep deeply, encouraging body-mind and spirit to restore itself natively. It is more difficult for my husband, who continues to enter and return from society earning money and recognition as a dependable and skillful worker. His work involves contact with contaminated sources: fragranced environments and people. He is affected, and the scents then need to be washed off using eight cups of hot water at a time. The process is intentive, and the steps multiple.

During the 'Ole Cycle our bodies empty, and we rest deeply, and heal a little bit more.

Restoration

My life is compressed if one looks at it from the outside. I travel little, walk from our vardo to this Quonset, take walks in the woods and see few people. On the inside, my life is immense, my connection with the Divine intimate and the avenues of expression grow from that internal life. Writing, as I am now, is the exchange of energy that comes from my daily practices: prayers, reading of Al-Anon literature, astrology and the casting of Runes. All these make for a full day. Life Navigation is an art, the course set last week may well require correction because of course, I sail not alone. I tune in, ask for clarification an during 'Ole I write less, make even fewer contacts than my minimal usual, and I listen more.

Review

Plant and fish, weed and mend nets


'Ole Cycles happen regularly, twice in a calendar month and with that natural structure I live my life in smaller chunks. The years of living on the road, presented us with the gift of wisdom wrapped with the moon. Time has offered us opportunities to become fisher folk and farmers of our personal sea, our personal garden. In no some way with no hold or ownership of sea or land, we plant seeds or fish where we are. Today, as the clocks jump ahead an hour in Northwestern USA, we plant ourselves lightly on portable homes no bigger than a closet. We share ourselves and our resources with two kind women and their animals. They share space in exchange for a minimal rent and our survival skills. We nurture this relationship, and restore the value of being together.

What, how and when I write changes and during 'Ole I stop writing on the blogs, and tend to the writing already begun editing and listening to the melody of stories written to hear them again. My decisions to close down access to the blogs written during the years of diaspora and building our vardo home are the right ones for me. The 'Ole time confirmed that choice, new energy comes when weeding is efficient and timely. There is room for the unexpected and the unknown. The newly created writers group rested this past long weekend, and soon we will come together to find what is next.

Relationships

The Earth is experiencing huge changes. To deny that is a choice that will bring with it consequences unique to the chooser. Just as this planet and her inhabitants experience the changing relationship between humankind and place, we will experience changes in our personal relationships. I am aware of the change in me, as I recognize and am affirmed that "This is not a rehearsal. This is IT!" The sky is falling, and we are all affected. 

Astrology and faith reinforce the course of my life. With each loss and resurrection, I am learning to know all my 'cards' so to speak. With each loss I find out who this person is, and who I am not. The relationships I have whittle the facades I have worn, and I learn to deal more squarely with my real self. The self that wears a mask because toxic drift is real. The self that loves, yet knows their are limits. The self that knows some (or all) of my choices might end a friendship, relationship. And then, there are the 'Ole cycles when unexpected reconnections lead me to kindle a passion thought lost. Storytelling is that passion. Oh yes, the story told through words stretching across the page continues to flow, and change, as here I write. But it is the telling story that I love that has been left to seed. Yesterday I reconnected with a friend and master of the tale who did re-ignite my love for the oral tradition. To him, I end this winding tale, with a smile as broad as bowls. Emptied, there was room for Jeff Gere, and what a genie, showing up across the waves.

The Makana (the give-away)

An MCS Gypsy Remedy: Personal Retreat during the 'Ole Cycle of the Moon

First, a couple definitions.

This remedy is not a cure, but may aid, assist or support your personal well-being and health related choices; and it will surely do you no harm.

Gypsy. In all respects and manner, I humbly acknowledge the Romani Nation, the people who are called 'Gypsy' in countries across Planet Earth. To these ancient and respected travellers I mean no disrespect as I link myself as "MCS Gypsy." I experienced a life without settlement, and diaspora and know the Roma or Romani history with diaspora. Only with the highest regard for "Gypsies" do I call myself a wanderer and traveller.

Undeniably those who live with chronic illnesses like I do with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities benefit from the support of understanding people and practices for well-being as unique as each of us. My experiences with loss and recovery, hope and resilience has benefited from my relationship with nature and in particular my relationship to Mahina. Whatever your personal well-ness practices are here is one that is portable, practical and inexpensive. The Moon is there wherever you are. The practice of Personal Retreat during the 'Ole Cycle of the Moon" as adaptable as you find yourself, and inexpensive for it only costs you willingness and seven-days in a calendar month.

Try this:

• NOTE THE NEW MOON

Look at a calendar, or go on-line and find out when the New Moon is for the up-coming month.

• COUNT TO SEVEN

Once you know when the New Moon is, count it as "1" and then go forward counting to "7". Day "7" is the first 'OLE DAY/NIGHT. There will be FOUR 'Ole days and nights in this cycle, "7",8", "9" and "10."

Days and Nights "7" through "10" are 'OLE.

• DO NO NEW PROJECTS During the 'Ole

This may take some practice, some of us will find rest, weed and restore difficult. Start with awareness, and let the practice happen with time. Be easy.

• There's a second set of 'Ole Days later in the month

COUNT FORWARD FROM THE NEW MOON TO "21"
Days and Nights counted "21" through "23" are the second cycle of 'Ole.

Three days and nights of the moon are 'Ole, a second time for resting and DO NO NEW PROJECTS within any calendar month.

I live a Gypsy-like life and know first-hand the harshness, and the wisdom that can come from a life of wandering. I suspect there will be more of us on this road, due the physical and economic shifts that are happening throughout the Planet.  We will need to draw on courage we have never known before, and may find our dreams, our homes and the life you know lost like sandcastles at a high tide.  If there are times when you can not count on a thing, try counting on the Moon.

Do you take time for personal retreats?

If you would like to learn more about the 'Ole Cycle, or consult with Mokihana e-mail me at ssvardoATgmailDOTcom.

Imagine Credit:  Copyright, Mokihana Calizar and Pete Little