SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY is happening ... Part of the writing project focused on VALUE

Here is an exception to my usual practice of not posting on an`Ole Day ... a story worth telling ... nothing new ... something that simply needs to be remembered in time to be part of a fun group writing project.


The Earth is bubbling, quaking under her skin are the rumblings of new earth. Not far from our little apartment in Seattle, Mt. Redount, an Alaskan volcano is shaking things up. Just where she will take that volcanic activity ... perhaps the vulcanologists can predict. In whatever form, that volcano is stirring the ALL THAT IS. Of course, the four-legged know the Earth is talking, they have never lost the ability to hear and feel Mother. My cat knows it, she is hunkered down under a flannel blanket atop a woolen sweater. Some of the two-legged ones know the Earth is talking as well, and we don't watch the television or listen to much radio news. The problem with my 'knowing' is I don't tune into the translation of the signals as exquisitely as my kitty.

INNER ECOLOGY

Something extraordinary is happening and it has a lot to do with knowing the value of inter-connectedness. One of my recent most favorite people is Leonardo Boff. I began reading his work and then started writing about him just this week on Makua O`o. He has inspired me with the simple reminder of the INNER ECOLOGY of all living being. As a Hawaiian, I have an ancient memory of this INNER ECOLOGY and connection to ALL that is. The culture of my mother's people have always respected the nature of living in everyone from bug, to spider, shark and my Green Bay born husband. And yet, the limiting and confining beliefs about myself during my life turned that respect, the unquestioning truth that in the natural world everyone 'speaks' the same language, to fear of being without VALUE.

A Short Hawaiian People's history

Perhaps a Hawaiian People's history lesson could shed some light. I recall from memory parts of this history of Hawaii in the Old Times. (I acknowledge and mahalo the family storytellers Koko Willis and Pali Jai Lee from the island of Molokai who collected the mana`o of their kupuna ... elders, and wrote the book Tales of the Night Rainbow translating mana`o into these valuable teachings. Mahalo nui loa kakou.)

`Aina ... that which feeds you

In times long past, this island was rich and abundant with life. `Aina in Hawaiian means "land" and it means more than that. `Aina means that which feeds you, and this is where the real story begins. In the Old Times, people lived in simple fashion from the ocean's shore to the top of the rain-drenched mountains. The people of the ocean fished, harvested limu (sea vegetables) and dried ocean water to make pa`a kai (sea salt) for seasoning and preservation. Everyone in the sea knew everyone on the shore. There was a kinship, a respect for life. Ke Kai, The Ocean, is one of the many gods Hawaiian acknowledge, respect and honor. Through the days and nights the Kanaka (the human) respected the cycles of high and low tide, calm and rough waters. Their knowing made it possible to fish, harvest, au` au bathe and enjoy swimming, surfing and canoeing with ease. With respect, all life was at ease.

Respect and ease

The same respect and ease happened along the paths upland, ma`uka in the mountains. Farmers used the natural slope of the land to channel rainway into drainage ditches `au wai, and the raised beds of taro, lo`i kalo (taro patches) were tended by hand and watered by the rain. The forrests of koa and other woods were respected for it was they who housed the birds, and the birds were the messengers. When it was time to choose a fitting tree to cut and carve into an ocean-ready canoe, the birds would know which tree was solid and which one was riddled with tree-eating bugs ... ono (delicious food for birds, peck, peck). As with the ocean people, when the `ole days of the moon shone, the farmer rested the land, weeded the lo`i and made offerings to the Gods.

Noticing and attending

Within every aha, or community, the elders maintained the teachings of harmonious living, and passed the knowledge along to those in the family who paid attention. The elders noticed everything, and were at ease with that knowing. Everyone had a place in the aha, no one was of more or less value. A child who was especially attention to the changing positions of the stars was no less valued than the other who could pound taro (nutritious corms) for hours without tiring. A child's natural inclinations were noticed and nurtured. And every child, every person was loved.

In this setting the life of the visible nurturance and the invisible were no difference. The protection and guidance of those who were no longer in the body, were now 'aumakua, spirit guardian. `Aumakua took many forms and in many cases families had special `aumakua. The bond did not change when someone no longer had a physical body. Most, or at least many, continued to see, hear and could travel between the planes in the Old Times.

VALUE or WAI WAI was in the being

The land, ocean, heavens (air and rain) and the beings on land and ocean and heavens had VALUE simply in their being. From that unquestioned value, the people worked. Food was gathered from the ocean, or grown in beautifully kept fish ponds; land vegetables were grown, cooked, preserved. What the fisherfolk gathered, they shared with the planter. No one went to sleep hungry, as long as respect for the ocean and land was maintained. There were 'ole nights, times during which the moon indicated rest for the ocean and the ground was indicated. Thanksgiving happened regularly, not only once a year.

Harmony ... pono

This system of pono, or harmony also came with a very different sense of 'enoughness'. In other words there was very little surplus or extra food or 'stuff' in a community of pono. Instead, there was VALUE in knowing the fisherman could fish, the kahuna (priest/healer) would care for the woman who was bleeding from the rectum, and the children would be loved. All would be loved, listened to, VALUED. HAVING was undefinable. OWNING not a word in the language. LOVE was everything and that is the word ALOHA.

This Hawaii, this world of pono existed prior to the arrival of the Tahitian, according to the teachings. With the Tahitian came a distinction between being and having. VALUE became a thing counted by the color of your skin, the quality of your clothing, and the number of people you could control. It was the great HEWA, the great fall as many myths recount a change from GODliness.

The essence of my story is not in the fall that came with the Tahitian, for I know many will question that thesis. It doesn't matter to the telling though. The point of the story is the VALUE of connectedness that began this tale. There is a volcano stirring not far from us here in Seattle, and many other volcanoes heat up all over The Mother. As contemporary society rumbles from the cycles of illusionary surplus and greed, the same language that has always been used on The Earth is even more important today. In the language of ALOHA, love for everyone makes surplus and greed valueless. In recalling and remembering the VALUE of being good at who I am, I do my very best work; maker of pies, grower of succulent strawberries, comforter of loss souls, tinker and builder, storyteller everyone receives exactly what they need. There is enough and it spreads miraculously.

I recently celebrated my 61st birthday last November. Yesterday I received a brand new-to-the-Earth soul, that is an occasion to celebrate. It is never too late to be born again to the language of VALUE that has little to do with how much surplus I count as mine. A brand new soul has nothing to compare Earth life to except for today. Everything is possible. What a fantastic state of being. What VALUE does that have to my friends, my family, my potential community? How would you VALUE a new born human being? I watched a beautiful grandmother answering her grand-daughter's question, "Will I be re-born a human?" The old one took a handfuls of rice and a long needle, and told her grand-daughter, "Now pour the rice over the needle, and tell me when you see one balance on the needle's tip." The little one did as she was told. At last she told grandmother, "That's impossible." There ... that's the answer, as impossible as it may seem we are here, life is precious and connected to ALL THAT IS.

Practice patience and endurance … TIMING IS DIVINE

I spent time with Akemi Gaines today. She has been working with me as an Akashic Record Reader and spiritual mentor. It is a very special time for me, truly a health opportunity based on broadening my foundation of spiritual connection. Today I asked Akemi to coach me through a session with my spirit guides to develop my intuition. It was a fun session where she shared her knowledge of soul development and evolution, a compliment to my practice as elder in training, and I got to ask questions and laugh with joy at progress. Makua O`o ... the Hawaiian description of a human being connecting to the "inner ecology" as Leonardo Boff calls it is a spiritual practice and yet the level at which a person experiences life can be limited. "We are after all only human." Some would say that is simply an excuse for acting without respect for life and responsibility to the Creator. We are human and we are responsible to the whole ... not the boss, simply an equal part of everyone.

The nine tools, o`o, in Hawaiian, have given me a structure to depend upon when the experiences of life seem difficult/incomprehensible/chaotic, or when I forget the I am not the boss of the universe. Sharing Makua O`o here offers a space to encourage others on their own spiritual paths. Many First People turn to the teachings based on the Universe, meaning all creators in the universe have lessons to teach. Bees have a purpose and lessons to teach: love, community, loyalty, indiscriminate sharing. They know nothing about individuation. Skunk has a purpose and lesson to teach: respect. Through their example, they demand respect and if you mess with them, you wear the smell of a marked being ... others will leave you isolated until you get the message. Each of the o`o gives me a chance to reflect on the sense of my everyday.

The timing for growth and different solutions in The Earth's contemporary world is divine, and it is now. I have worn a deep and broad path of learning patience and endurance in my sixty-one years. I have literally worn my self and my soul out. Akemi shared hope with me today, reassuring me that new life, a new soul fresh and innocent has come to be with my dear self. I am re-newed, literally. In years past I would have been too afraid to open myself this time form of spiritual development. Today, I am not afraid. The physical challenges and life lessons thus far have been many and included experiences of abuse, and separation, and I have endured. Now, there is a whole new slate upon which I can create a new life story. I'm thrilled with the news, and appreciate Ke Akua's incredible heart of love. The love spills into me.

Evolving spiritual health is the key to new solutions, a major key to the miracle of transformation. I have experienced the struggle of physical symptoms that limit and confine me. I have been humbled by them and share what I learn, and how I learn. As the next cycle of four 'OLE DAYS begins tomorrow, I have plenty to re-view and a relationship with my spirit guides that can only grow stronger and more valuable because I have made the commitment to call upon them. They like that!

Do you use your intuition? How do you receive the messages?

TOMORROW, SATURDAY, THE COMMENTS ARE ENABLED FOR THE WEEK-END. I'll be back on Wednesday with a new post. Have some fun! As my friend Nancy likes to say, "Why not!"

Know that wisdom is found in many places … SOFTEN THE GROUND OF YOUR BEING

My body has become hard. Constant defense can do that. I write from the edge of the futon with a woolen sock, snipped at the toes, so it fits around my knee like a mini-legging. My old yoga belt used in my life as practitioner and teacher support that knee. I moved 'hard' and something in my old joint went another way ... maybe. I have used heat and then did the RICE process (rest, ice,compression and elevation), and the swelling is done and I can move about with care.

The ringing in my ears may be coming from the blood pressure in my body. It's very high and needs to come down. I'm giving myself, with an okay from Dr. B, a few days to see whether adding magnesium to my body ... a powder, lowers my blood pressure. If it does ... there's a solution. If not, I have a prescription for lowering blood pressure I'd start using. The first prescription medication I would use in many years. I have a health opportunity to expand my boundaries and limitations. My old thinking may have become too hard and brittle to maintain a sustaining life. Perhaps in my zeal to challenge the 'ENEMY' I have become the enemy ... so said the great prophet POGO.

I am a young to the Earth soul, with a connection to things that are out of sync with the contemporary world, including I believe, the contemporary experiences caused by chemical abuse. Fighting and defense is not working in harmony with my soul's purpose ... and yet I have a very real physical body. The challenge of the physical world tests my soul, and then there are inspirations ... intuitive harmonics.

This morning I found this inspiring writing from the Organic Consumer's Organization. It's a piece of writing that offered me a connection with today's O`o ... Know that wisdom is found in many places. The title of the work is called 'The Healing Strength of INNER ECOLOGY' it resonated with me. With the messages I'm getting lately, softening the ground of my being is where I need to be now.

Here is an excerpt from this article, with an exquisite example of how one of Earth's First People maintain the inner ecology with a tiny mouse:

The Healing Strength of 'Inner Ecology'

By Leonardo Boff
Earthcharter Commission, January 18, 2009
Straight to the Source

"In the same way that there exists an external ecology, there also exists an inner ecology, comprised of solidarity, feelings of re-bonding with the whole, caring and loving. These ecologies are umbilically linked. ...The universe is not comprised just of a gathering of objects, but of the network of inter-relations among them, becoming subjects that exchange information and become richer.

Starting with inner ecology, the Earth, the Sun, the Moon, the trees, the mountains and the animals are not only just there, outside. Rather, they live in us, as figures and symbols charged with emotion. The experiences -good or traumatic- that we may have had with these realities have left profound imprints in our psyches. This explains our aversion towards some, or the affinity we feel towards others...

... In the final analysis, that spiritual unconscious is the expression of the very spirituality of the Earth and of the universe that erupted through us, who are the conscious part of the universe and of the Earth.

That profound spirituality helps us understand, for instance, the exemplary ecological attitude of the Sioux nation of North America. In some of their ritual celebrations, they celebrate a certain type of beans that grows deep in the soil and is very difficult to harvest. What do the Sioux do? They use the stores gathered to eat in the winter by a species of mouse native to the prairies of that area. Without that reserve they risk starvation. When taking the beans, the Sioux are clearly conscious that they are breaking their solidarity with brother mouse, and are stealing from him. This is why they offer this moving prayer: «You little mouse, who are sacred, have mercy on me. You are feeble, yes, but strong enough to do your job, because sacred powers communicate with you. You are also wise, because the wisdom of the sacred powers is always with you. May I also be wise in my heart, so that this dark and confusing life be transformed into permanent light.» And in a sign of solidarity, when they take the beans leave in their place small pieces of pork and corn. The Sioux thus feel spiritually united with the mice and with all of nature."

Link

Mahalo Ke Akua e Na `Aumakua (thank you to the creator of ALL and the guardians of ALL)

Believe in Ke Akua, for this higher power makes all life possible … WE ARE NEVER ALONE

Last night I received an email from a dear friend. She told me of the passing of her brother who died of lung cancer. Her brother was a gentle and appreciative soul who made things with his hands. What I remember most vividly are the beautifully costumed tiny creatures he made with leather dressings and hats, and I believe limbs that moved. He built things, had many fine wood working tools including a family lathe that occupied a revered space in his basement. The gods offered me the company and comfort of "L" and her family at one of the times in my life where answers to my questions were truly muddled. As I write this, I laugh ... I have so many of those muddled times and the universe has always been very generous with solutions, in divine time. I met L three summers ago. Pete and I were separated and I needed a place to live. My chemical sensitivities were real, and yet not quite as aggravated as they have begun. I knew it was a risky venture. L listened and was willing to accommodate. She had, and continues to have, a generous and open heart.

The big old home in Anacortes used to be the home of a medical doctor. The main floor as I recall was divided into two large front rooms, one of them a waiting room the other a living room-entry room. The front door to the house was closely met with a stair way that climed in a sharp curve to the floor above. L offered me the entire upstairs as my living space. I only needed a bedroom and a bathroom I told her. "You need space right now," she told me. "I always thing of the two adjoining bedrooms as one space." The third bedroom remained a shared space, but during the three months I lived with L she left that upper floor to my own use.

Except for one other summer, after I was divorced from my first husband, in my entire adult life I had never lived completely alone. I married at twenty-five, left my parents home, and the Islands for the home of my first husband, and lived as wife for twenty-three years. Pete and I started writing and then got together within months of the divorce. We lived together for more than twelve years before we married in 2004. The element that fit our very independent natures was Pete's work. He often worked off Island, and I enjoyed my independence for days at a time.

My summer in L's Anacortes home was an important time. She worked as a care-giver during the week, so much of the time I was alone in the great house. I kept my own company, maintained an independent schedule, walked to the near-by services and maintained a weekly support network. When Liz was home, we enjoyed wonderful woman-to-woman tea times at her kitchen table, shared stories of experiences in the Islands, and planted a very deep fondness for one another. I watched a woman who truly knew how to be a good neighbor, a rare example in my experience. I saw how respected she was in her community and witnessed the acts of acceptance she allowed in her dealings her neighbors. She in turn was curious about me and the spiritual interests which are my focus. During the months in her home I brought an air purifier and water system to clear the air and filter the flouride. Those things remain there. Separately and together, I cleared and taught L to clear and adjust things in her home to allow the energy to move more effectively; I shared my knowledge of Feng Shui.

By the end of the summer my MCS symptoms had changed. I might have been exposed to too many gas fumes from the Anacortes refineries ... or something else. I had a tooth extracted and got very sick from the procedure. I think my system just got over-burdened, and my mind sought the familiar. I asked Pete to come back. Wow, what a recollection this is ... By this time, I had read about Tumbleweed Tiny Homes, and a workshop that was scheduled in last August. Pete returned from Michigan where he had recently moved to do some work he loved, and we were off for California to explore building a tiny home.

The rest is a history that I have recorded on VARDOFORTWO and Sam and Sally. Today, I began with a thought to embrace a dear friend at a time of loss. She and I began sharing the experiences of Makua O`o at her kitchen table a few short summers ago. What an incredible journey is life. Like that climbing stair case in L's home, the climb sometimes takes a sharp right on the way to the top.

Much aloha L. Believe in Ke Akua, for this higher power makes all things possible. WE ARE NEVER ALONE.

Thank you. Mokihana

Feel the heartbeat of the culture … MAKE TIME FOR LOVE

My son sent me three recordings of his songs yesterday. They are wonderful, of course a Mama San would say they're wonderful ... really they are a trio of poetry, comedy and sultry balladeer. I listen to the lyrics he has written and hear the deep soul of a young man who is finding the heartbeat of the culture as he digs himself into the mud of the taro patches, paddles the waves off the shores of O`ahu and aligns himself with destiny. This, a boy born in the Pacific Northwest with a mother who always longed to be back on the islands. It's a tangy salve that heals my confusion, listening to his music during my first winter in fifteen years. "Sometimes, it happens that way." The title and lyrics from one of those songs suggests my son's knowing-ness.

The Lunar New Year, Chinese New Year, The Year of the Ox has begun. Slow and steady movement will be the course of the year, rebuilding if necessary the things that no longer work. Honest confusion may slow things down. Better slow than haughty haste.

Question for clarity when making decisions … ASK

I've been doing a lot of asking lately. I made a trip north and east to see my environmental doc this morning. Over the past few weeks the number of exposures and the adjustments to make as I recuperate from them have brought me to my knees. It's difficult to know how my body and mind are doing. So as if unceasingly I have been praying, asking, talking with Ke Akua and the `aumakua (all that is and all the ancestral gods who have their role in the order of things). "I believe I have a place here, so what exactly is that? Is it changing? You know why I'm here. So, could you help me out here because I'm not sure of anything right now." This is the sort of talk I'm hearing myself say ... in the bathroom, along the beach, while I drift in and out of sleep. My dreams time has been busy, the experiences varied ... I'm working in my dreams, 'working for a living' kind of work; something I have not been doing for a very long time in the waking state. I feel the reward of the work. Then, I'm off to revisit old friends, people who I have let go since MCS has become an anger-inducing wedge in relationships once supportive and restoring. Even in the dreams the relationships are different. Looking like something, and yet it isn't that way at all. Dreams give you that omnivision if you notice. When I open my eyes from dreaming I have to consciously draw my spirit and my energy back into my physical body. Whewww...what a busy night!

The traffic was heavy over the 520 bridge, a woman in her Land Rover stalled on the bridge. Poor woman, what a back-up one car creates on a two lane road. Fortunately, it is a glorious clear though cold Seattle day. Waiting in traffic on the bridge the immense size of Lake Washington reminds me why I could not understand the difference between 'lake' and 'ocean' when I first arrived in the Northwest, a girl of twenty-six. I was a few minutes late for my appointment, but I had called to tell Tiffany I was sitting on the bridge. My appointment with Dr. B was about forty-five minutes long. I need the time. My list of questions were written on a medium-size brown paper bag. A tip for my exquisite sensitivity to most paper, I thank Leslie from The Oko Box Blog for that! It it difficult to sort out what is happening to my body ... the organs, especially the liver works so hard to detoxify environment as well as toxic emotions. I began at the bottom of my list and asked about everything from "How do you determine whether the liver is keeping up?" "I'd like to coordinate what I do with Chulan, my NAET practitioner? What do you think?" One by one Dr. B answered my questions and offered options that fit within my frame of reference...they resonated with me. Late in the year, last year I asked readers on VARDOFORTWO how they handled medical issues; ie. how they deal with insurance, hospitalization, health insurance. It helped me to see that these issues are not easily dealt with when you have MCS, or not for that matter. Today, I asked Dr. B to write me a letter that affirmed my health condition, as a woman with MCS who would need to be accomodated within the health/hospital setting. "I'll include that they consult with the patient (you) because you know what you can or cannot handle." Dr. B was clear he'd include that sentence in the letter.

During the past five years, Pete and I have been through extreme situations: fleeing from pesticide incidences, living in a car for months, being harassed by a cop for sleeping in the car, and on and on. Learning to adjust over and over wears a being done. Building a safe home in addition makes the process even more challenging. Through it all, my foundation has been a spiritual connection that links me to something bigger than myself. I know it has kept me alive.

There are some things spirit must depend upon from the physical world, and sometimes that means I ... the ego attached to me must be 'tricked' out of control long enough to accept an option outside the comfortable one. Maybe. Five years ago I stopped taking the last of the prescription drugs I used for decades. It was for high blood pressure. There were many reasons the drug was not right for me, and so I worked with alternatives. MCS took all my attention and focus during those five years. This morning, I knew ... my dreams, my ringing ears, my inner center and my list ... it was time to re-think the quality of my choices. The blood pressure reading said "Yup, your blood pressure is way up there. Do you think you'd like to try medication?" Dr. B asked. We talked about the choice he suggested, a newer medication (I'll explore it on the internet, and get Chulan to muscle test it, too). He wrote the prescription, I took it, along with a prescription for oxygen that will be available to me when the air is difficult.
I'm weighing all the discussion and queries posed. I asked for clarification, and got a lot from the appointment, and soon I can make a few more decisions.

WEEK-END Notes and COMMENTS OPENED

Good morning,

Outside I see the frosty lawn, an Alaska Airlines jet moves in for a landing and a winter bird gobbles the sunflower seeds Pete has strewn on the walkway. Inside the heater is warming us a I listen to Dennis Pavao singing about ka leo o ke kai (the song of the ocean). I long for the Islands with an ache that shivers me. I shift the ache into appreciating the sounds of my Island homeplace on a cd and the ache gentles. I sit with the moment with peppermint tea and time here on Makua O`o. Welcome ... Comments have been 'turned on' for all the posts now, and we welcome your words here.

O ka mea ua hala, ua hala ia
What is gone is gone.
There is no use in recalling hurts of the past.

How are you liking this space for silent retreat and consideration?

A hui hou, Mokihana

Question for clarity when making decisions … ASK

We have taken to a new way of using the space in the basement apartment here in White Center. The Kitchenette is our primary safe haven, the space where we sleep. It also serves as place where we set-up the cooked food prepared outside; we watch movies here and catch Ugly Betty on Thursday nights. The trusted Sony laptop works in The Kitchenette as well. Beyond the green flannel and Denny Foil wall there are other rooms. These are the rooms that store our stuff, grow our wheatgrass, and serve as Pete's research and investigate center. The bedroom has become Pete's office, a place where he can go when I am sleeping, meditating, writing and doing my thing. If the bedroom door is open I hear the evolving style of questioning my dear man is learning. There are so many hours of phone calls recorded on that cellphone of his. Throughout the year of preparation and building our tiny mobile home, Pete has searched and queried dozens of craftsmen and specialized builders. Through his phone contact he discovers a lot. I have listened to many of his calls, and yet I'm glad I am beyond ear-shot for most of his calls. He always reviews the information he discovers from these sessions and lays out more questions for us to consider.

When the curved copper roof idea went up in smoke, we thought we'd just 'find another roofer' to do the original project. It hasn't worked that way. The process of questioning for clarity has broadened the search, and now the path seems to be bending back upon itself. An old bid left as not quite right is looking more attractive five months later. More shall be revealed, and then there's Mercury appearing, in the heavens, in a retrograde (backward) path. The winged messenger, Mercury, the communicator and instigator, in retrograde can stall a project, or allow for a re-think on a project. It seems appropriate that our original idea of a copper roof that morphed and tripled in price to $6,000 , goes through a re-view and re-do. Winter slows nature down. In spite of our willfulness even us humans slow down to consider using our time to clarify before making decisions. I admit sometimes I don't like the waiting or the process of asking so many questions, and then real life shows up and has its way with me ... lucky us.

Engage in good health practices

The sky cleared today, and the fog must have found another place to nestle. What a difference, a nice change. Pete and I are making the most of a sometimes odd rhythm to our life. Sometimes a waltz moving two steps that way and then one step back we edge forward in our project to create a home and a way of life like two moon snails. The choices we make are the best we can make on the day we make them. If we are lucky the effects of a foggy brain clear enough to do no harm, and yet it doesn't always turn out that way. So, these two moon snails re-group, and let the fog clear before choosing again.

Early in the posts here on Makua O`o I wrote about the ringing in my ears ... tinnitus. Yesterday I spent some time reading and considering the thoughts of Paul Toby a young concert pianist who has learned to accept and live with tinnitus. His experiences and his e-book are very encouraging. Living with Multiple Chemicals Sensitivities is a changeable reality, my senses have stretched to their limits and behind in many ways. My ears, as large as Buddha's, are a Calizar trademark. The practices Paul Toby outlines for learning to live with tinnitus begins with accepting that the ringing exists. Once more, I am given the lesson: stay still long enough to know NOW. My experiences with living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities began more than fourteen years ago. I suspected something wasn't quite right and yet it was a decade and more before I accepted there was no SOMEWHERE ELSE to be safe and with danger of exposure. Pete and I tried to outrun the environment. That doesn't work.

Here is an excerpt from Paul Toby's e-book A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO TINNITUS-FREE LIVING

"I think for me, when I reached the point of realization that there is nothing anyone can do, and this journey was mine alone, I died. The Paul Tobey who had lived for 36 years on the planet earth died and a new man was born. I finally realized that no amount of anger,no amount of fear, no amount blaming, no amount of judging, no amount of persistence in trying to heal this thing, and no amount of searching was going bring about the ultimate cure. When I met that demon in my life, when I reached that point – I just finally broke down and surrendered. I had enormous fears about what I just had surrendered to. I was deeply mourning the loss of silence – a privilege I had taken for granted my whole life. I was also mourning the loss of the person I once knew as me..."

Like Paul Toby I live with tinnitus, as well as Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. The excerpt above describes the unavoidable point(s) of surrender that led me to one more spiritual awakening. But first, I must surrender and grieve. Yes, the inner silence is gone ... for a while, forever. Which ever, it is gone for now. Last night as I began to integrate some of the ideas from Toby's book, I found a way to bring very healing music into The Kitchenette. The chants of the Benedictine monks, deep, resonant tones relaxed us as they have in times past. It has been more than a year since we listened to those chants. Gently the deep tones relaxed the hold I had placed on the sadness and grief/stress and then the tears came. I cried, sobbed, released and slept more deeply than I have in many weeks.

As I read further I found two points that made a lot of sense to me, and fit my recipe for good health practices. First, Paul Toby discovered as many of us with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities discover and rediscover, you are what you eat. In Toby's case he discovered that certain foods raised the level of ringing in his ears; other foods lessened the ringing in his ears. Early on in his book, Toby cautions and encourages all who read, to consult a medical or health care practitioner for your personal assessment. What Toby does offer are non-medical options and a possibility that eating with your blood type in mind could help. Eating for your blood type is not a new concept for me, I have done this in years past for differing reasons. It makes sense for me to give it a try again. So, I am making some changes using the suggested eating guidelines ... a little at a time beginning today. I am a new blood human, a AB+ blood type. This food and blood type correlation has made sense to me for a long time. Now I have another incentive to work with this approach, tinnitus.

The second point Toby makes has to do with focus. Attending to the things that are the most important to me. Here's something Toby writes:

"Do you know the number one reason why most people don’t get what they want in life?

And I ask this in all my seminars. I ask, “What is the number one reason why most
people don’t get what they want in life? And the answer is very simple:
Most people simply don’t know what it is they want!

You need to adopt a really REALLY big goal. The reason is;
If you shoot for the stars you are at
least going to hit the moon!"

I'm including this bit from Paul Toby here on Makua O`o because at the base of his successful re-emergence as a full-blossomed human being, concert pianist, composer, inspirational speaker and new father, is Toby's awakening to the importance of connecting to ALL THAT IS, that which cannot be seen. VARDOFORTWO , the tiny moon snail like home we are creating is part of our fully-blooming life. It is ONE PART of the really big goal I have to hit the moon. My body requires many fine-tuning, I was asleep when the gods said 'there will be many fine-tuning', and must have thought there would be one to last the journey. I have so much to learn, and with a life like this, no end of lessons await me.

Feel the heart beat of the culture ... MAKE ROOM FOR LOVE

We are searching for our people. In a common day the reactions to exposure and symptoms that follow are difficult to explain to people. Science aka logic often falls short of comforting me when I am having a bout with symptoms. When a stranger deems me crazy for feeling/being sickened by a run of the mill product/fragrance/activity I can more easily let it go. When one of my potential people doesn't get it my mind clings to the need to defend. Writing the story of Sam and Sally, and now the continuing blog stories of these 'characters', was one way for me to detach from explanations and defenses. The Storyteller speaks for me, and I can take a break so-to-speak.

We are searching for our people. Part of the process of making a life in VARDOFORTWO is linking up with people who are willing to begin and sustain the learning process of living with MCS. I look around and see how small my circle of people has become. In part it is my style to count few, maybe one, loyal and trusted friend as 'my people.' This morning I woke from a restless sleep, and called one of my people. This pal lives a life that confounds others... if you don't live with the changed reality of a life in her body, it is near impossible to get your hands around it. We share that conundrum, and it seems to me making room for love bridges the space that could be filled with explanation and defense. Turtle Woman simply remains open to my reality and fills in the rest with love.

We are searching for our people. We all wish to be in the company of folks who like us. In the company of your people, there is a culture the keeps the beat, the heart beat. When you or he or she is out of step, your people will simply grab hold of your shoulder and dance with you until the heart beat and yours are in sync. Outside the circle of your people, a missed beat is a mistake and a reason to "deem". You know what I mean. Ever seen THE BEE GIRL? Here is a wonderful video, story and string of comments from ELSA P. my favorite astrowoman. Through her gleaning, I found a girl (now woman) who found her people. It's a glorious and delightful discovery, and a HOLIDAY! And as I said on her blog, "Elsa, you create unexpected holidays all the time." Thanks Elsa.

Hope your day is spent with your people,
Mokihana

Know that wisdom is found in many places … SOFTEN THE GROUND OF YOUR BEING

Physical manifestations of life are plastic and when they fail to suit the requirements of time and place they may be manipulated and changed by man. But that which is intangible is beyond the power of man, existing as a permanent reservoir from which the potential of life may be draw as the need arises."

I was once a devourer of books. Stacks of them, rose from the floor around my side of the bed. I was an avid self-help reader in search of recipes that might conjure explanations to my quandaries and discomforts. Words offered explanations I had not thought of, other times a philosophy matched the discourse in my head and I would, "Ah ..." in communion, "that's it." In more recent past, I grew to love the fiction of writers who could simply entrance me with a good tale. In the year before MCS topped off my internal rain barrel I read a dozen novels and mysteries in a week. A sort of last supper of print perhaps. Today I have read no more than parts of one or two books. The layered effects of sensitivities to the environment have screened out new books as companions, and even old books might be too musky to handle.

I appreciate the ability to be able to pick up the book from which I've gleaned the quote above. Re-reading snippets of The Tao of Architecture, a tiny book Pete introduced me to many years ago, I found a way to be at peace with today. In contemporary language of an ancient observer of truths, Laotzu, the author draws images that dip into that permanent reservoir of potentials making sense of nonsense. Here's how the quote above is softening the ground of my being today. First, we watched the inauguration of America's first Black American president this morning. Along with a billion or more other citizens of The Planet, Pete and I have lived long enough to see something unthinkable be a current reality. We listened to President Obama's message, toasting our cups of hot tea as his blue black lips carved out a space in auditory history. This is a man, a leader who reaches out his hand to a minister with beliefs that raise the hackles of the liberal gay community and others. Why do that? To embrace the common good in all if the 'other' will unclinch his fist. It seems the well of potentials has been dipped today.

On the home front, our personal journey here in the industrial center of Seattle, where the billowing factories fill the air with particulets of poisons, we build a home no bigger than most people's guest room. Small in dimensions, the process of making a nurturing home in a complicated society is large. Why do that? We do it because we have experienced many alternatives, and find no comfort or safety with those alternatives. We have no blueprint for success with materials specific, safe and accessible to two old dears. The life experiences we bring to the challenge of re-building a nurturing nest sometimes thwarts the flow of solutions; what we used to believe/who we deem as good-trustworthy/what we believe is 'right' changes. So how are decisions and choices made firm and good for the building of safety? Well, the natural flow of The Planet's elements is showing us they have a strength that will not be manipulated ... mold will gather where there is damp. If my system is truly sensitive to the materials both natural and synthesized we will need to dip into the 'intangible ... beyond the power of man' because the need does arise. Could it be a choice we viewed unthinkable shows itself as a solution? I'm looking into the reservoir, knowing wisdom is found in many places.

Joy be part of your day, Mokihana

Question for clarity when making decisions … ASK

I have had vivid and varied dreams during the past week. Learning to live with the reality and limitations of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities is at best complex; learning at this stage in life is a vaudeville review running non-stop. Sleep is one of the gifts that can restore us from the doing of the day, and for me dreams have offered alternative universes, and sometimes activity that provides answers to many questions from my chaotic days. The week past has been difficult for us, the physical symptoms of living through exposures is unpredictable, and when they are predictable it makes it no less difficult. Even with the years of being part of the 12-step programs of Al-Anon where I heard for the first time that I AM POWERLESS OVER Alcohol, alcoholics and just about everyone and everything, I do not go easily into surrender. One of the odd yet unrelenting benefits of MCS is its inseparable connection with the act of surrendering. A fine line dots the border between surrender and giving-up. In 'the rooms' we hear that surrendering is the first step in letting go to let the god of ones' understanding take over. For me, I did not see the difference between turning life over to this higher power, and simply chocking it ALL in. "Beam me up and out of here ... enough already!" Is that a declaration of surrender or giving-up?

I consider the events of recouping and recovering from the effects of over-exposure to the environment on a system like mine and recognize several opportunities for a 'better next time.' I get that asking for help from the god of my understanding sooner rather than later saves me a lot of strain. Asking sooner does not spare me from grief. With more life, I see that grief is a normal and necessary process and living with recurring illness includes grieving in small and large ways. Last night's dream is worthy of my recounting: I was in a thrift store and I was having a lot of fun. Thrifting was one of my favorite pass-times in a life not too long past. In my day-light life I no longer have the luxury of being in stinky thrifty shops. The dreamtime allows all. I tried on carts filled with dresses, swimsuits, coats trying on garmets that defied season and reason. At least once during my night at the thriftshop it occurred to me that none of those thing were really BEAUTIFUL AND ESSENTIAL. No matter, the enjoyment was what filled me. Smells were of no account. The thrifting went on for what seems like hours. And then, the tide came in. From where did the tide or floods come? It was my dream, my flood. I scrambled to find my purse, my wallet, money, my identity. My passport. All gone. I moved on, and must have decided to keep shopping because in with the tide came fist-fulls of money. "Ah, this will cover it." The floods kept coming, and yet it never rose high enough to cover me. Just before I woke Pete showed up. I told him of my losses. He told me I'd been in there for fifteen hours, and it was okay ... we left, I woke up.

"Wow! I had to relieve my self of the night. Shook myself with a sense of relief and acknowledgment of yet another view of loss and release. I didn't need any of the stuff, and yet I loved the frivolousness of a girlie thing to do. In the dark early hours of morning I felt the answer to my prayers to have the life I have known before. One of the answers, at least for now is, okay, dream it and let it go. Tide in, tide out.

Practice patience and endurance … TIMING IS DIVINE

I am by nature, not a patient woman. Saying that may be part of the problem. You are what you say you are. I was born premature, pulled from the warmth of the womb before I was really done swimming in there; part of me has spent a lifetime looking for a cozy place to finish up.

This weekend Pete and I watched one of my favorite movies, The Cave of the Yellow Dog. The beautiful portrait of a Mongolian Nomadic family who lives the edge of a traditional lifestyle balancing on the tip of a needle comforts me. Is it the life in a yurt that reassures me that our own life in The Kitchenette, on our way into a traveling home even smaller is possible? Probably. When I sit to watch a film that comforts me I absorb the smallest details of each frame: I notice the colors, shades and shadows the cinematographer has painted for us, I pick up the shape and pitch of the yurt's roof, see the color of the well-worn deel(the loose-fitting tunic) on the mother has torn away in back. I breathe the air of the high mountains and relish in the simple activity of milking the yak, straining the kefir and cutting the block of cheese. The traditions of Buddha are integral in this film, integral to the lives of this Nomadic family. Spiritual practice is life. Reincarnation, honoring the ancestors, blessing and thanksgiving, children asking for clarity, all there everyday. Several times during this film Nandal, the oldest of the three children asks beautifully inquiring questions of her elders. The answers she gets opened the child to the world view her people have. The most potent of those questions, and the one that re-plays often in my mind and heart is, "Grandmother, will I be re-born a human?" In the soft light of the yurt well after sunset Grandmother's answer begins with a priceless grin absent of any teeth, and a cackle that melts all the walls around my protected heart. Grandmother answers by taking handfuls of long raw rice kernels into a rain-fall over a long needle. She asks the young girl to do it, and says, "Tell me when you see a grain of rice balance on the tip of the needle." Nandal does as she's told ... until finally, she sees it will never happen. "It's impossible," she decides, and turns to Grandmother. Grandmother cackles again then says, "See, my child that is why human life is precious." Nearly impossible and yet, here we are.

My brain is having difficulty making connections, my organs, especially my liver seems distended, sore from a collection of too much of a lot of things. Toxins, ill-chosen foods, an ill-absorbed meal. Yet I am here. The Hawaiian phrase, "au a`i" "I am here," comes to me. I was not a patient child and it seems my life offers me countless opportunity to practice patience. Here I am practicing patience and endurance.

Aloha, Mokihana

P.S. I have hidden the comments link ... any comments from the weekend may hide, too. Hopefully, the comments will show again, this weekend. I'm practicing here, too.

YES, HERE'S THE COMMENT CONNECTION

The comment link is now happening. If you're reading and have something to share ... a thought about the posts this week on Makua O`o, what's your spiritual practice. I don't understand it, and don't have a techie in my house ... so, join in if you care to.

Lots of aloha,

Mokihana

STILL TRYING TO OPEN THE COMMENTS

Sorry, the comments link is still not showing up as I thought they could. Let's see what happens if I post this. Maybe you can comment here!

LOL, Mokihana

OPEN LINES

Clip Art credit: www.designedtoat.com

The Moon is full in the sign of Cancer tonight. The bounty of all thoughts and energy is available to us on a full moon. I have enjoyed sharing the first week of meditations and musings here at Makua O`o. Committing to this practice of 'elder in training' gives me purpose, the ups and downs of a changing reality and a waxing and waning clarity can be lonely. Learning to live with the effects of the environment/choices others make/choices I make becomes complicated when living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. And yet, I know my unique personality and the lessons my Sustaining Soul have to learn here on Earth have a better chance when I make time to believe I'm here to be an 'elder' ... an adult I respect, a leader, learner, loving teacher.

This week the five tools or O`o I used (and five posts I wrote) were:

1. Keep a keen sense of observation … NOTICE
2. Listen … with your whole body … LISTEN RESPECTFULLY
3. Do your best in all things … BELIEVE YOUR BEST IS ENOUGH.
4. Know that wisdom is found in many places … SOFTEN THE GROUND OF YOUR BEING
5. Believe in Ke Akua, for this higher power makes all life possible … WE ARE NEVER ALONE

I ended the first week of posts using few words, choosing instead to focus on the beautiful photograph "Temple of the Bees" by Nirvan Hope. Many words and passionate activism were used to express my sadness and outrage in the name of the bees. Link here to that post at VARDOFORTWO. There is a place for activism in a life of peace-making. I seem to recall something the Dali Lama says about compassion having that same essence. Compassion without action is empty/dead?


Malama pono,

Mokihana

Believe in Ke Akua, for this higher power makes all life possible … WE ARE NEVER ALONE

"Temple of the bees"
a beautiful photo taken by Nirvan Hope
www.earthrhythmphotography.com
Posted here with permission from the artist
Thank you, Nirvan

For a while let "Temple of the bees" inspire you to consider the power of creation and the interconnectedness we share with ALL THAT IS. Later there may be more words.

Me ke aloha kakou,
Mokihana

Keep a keen sense of observation … NOTICE

Late yesterday afternoon after a full day of writing I bundled myself in all the clothes I have to keep me warm and dry. "I'm going to the water, honey," I told Pete. It was a blustery day, the air filled with damp, the rain thick. There are two different beach walks I love to take. Both of them edge the same shore of Puget Sound, and yet the seascapes and exposure to the elements are different. The beach walk along Lincoln Park offers three paths: an asphalt road, a grassy path and the gray sand-pebble/rock shore line if the tide is not at full flood. My other favorite walk is just slightly north of Lincoln Park and is a much shorter walk. Like Lincoln Park though, it offers options to a walker or beach comber. The sidewalk stretches along a railed bulkhead on the south end of Alkai Beach in West Seattle. Below the bulkhead though is the rocky shore and shelf of tide pools where the crows, shore birds and wintering ducks, geese and resident sea gulls hang out. That is a place where water life happens with abandon.

I reached the railed bulkhead shortly before 3pm in the afternoon. The wind was blowing in from the south. The water churned dull ... a color I'm not sure of: green-blue-gray? The heavens were emptying and the air was fresh. I wore two hats, long underwear, a sweat shirt, tights, my winter coat, gloves, wool socks and my trusty boots. Once out of Scout, I felt the sharp wind, which I had to admit and appreciate, was not icy. After 20 degree December, the nearly 50 degrees was almost comfortable. Is this acclimating? Probably. As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk I hear it. A low constant tone sang in the wind. Adjusting to the outside air I simply noticed the tone, and felt the tone change, the sound was constant and yet it had a melody. As I walked I looked out across the rain-blown water. Ferry horn? My head was clearing from the muddle it accumulates when I am not able to exchange inside-only air with the ions of a fresh outing. As I stretched my legs, I lost myself in the breathing of that glorious, rich fresh air.

There was a little bit of rock beach shoreline below I considered going down to be with it, walk it. Decades earlier when I lived along the water in Mukilteo, the shoreline of Puget Sound was home. I made the adjustment away from Hawaiian Island life living along Puget Sound. One of the sea truths reinforced by living near ocean is to respect her power. There was not enough shoreline to walk without danger of a rogue wave. I wasn't so much concerned a wave would pull me into the water, as much as knowing the floating logs and debris was more dangerous if churned up. The sidewalk was close enough to inhale beautiful air, and the mournful melody of those tones kept me company. Finally I connected with the source of that strangely beautiful sound. The railings stretched along the sidewalk are pipe, small holes allow the wind to play the pipes like so many giant tin whistles. It was a Gaelic concert free for the noticing, and I had a front seat. Blessed with the opportunity to notice the gods gave me time to clear my head, and refresh body and soul.

Malama pono, Mokihana

Here is a link to a wonderful post on the barometic character of the body. It's a lovely way to ponder the exquisite knowledge our body always knows. Kerry from Lemon-aide, thank you for this.

Listen … with your whole body … LISTEN RESPECTFULLY

My ears ring. Most of the time I pay the ringing no attention because there is so much else to hear; Jots outside on the doormat is crying for attention, the soft whirl of the air purifier cleaning dust and errant smells, the city of inner conversations. Sometimes though, the silence of everything else becomes a blank page for the ringing and I simply listen. Medically, ringing in the ears is called tinnitus, and if your ears ring, and the ringing makes you crazy there is so much information to seek out. At first, I searched for a 'name' to give this constant ring. I sought to understand it and then I sought help to stop it...forever! Time has passed since I first noticed the ringing and this morning I pause to listen respectfully to a sound that is here for a purpose.

Living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, my body is a very highly-strung instrument. Is it an old-fashion description "high-strung"? I remember my mother calling me high-strung and over sensitive whenever I just couldn't handle o n e m o r e thing. I hated that description, and yet she was right. The thing is my parents just didn't have enough reserves to tune and nurture their little girl violin. Active alcoholism and violence is a family disease, and that disease takes it all. If there were silent times in my home of origin my ears probably began ringing then as a lullaby of defense, a way to create 'white noise' of a sort. At this early age it was not possible for me to listen respectfully, I had no role models for the practice.

Creator of All Beings makes an agreement with each of us as we prepare to incarnate. I have come to believe that a Sustaining Soul, immortal soul, spirit, core essence or whatever name you give, comes with each birth. Some religions teach the immortality of the soul as a strictly human privilege or responsibility. My culture is more "holistic", the Hawaiian tradition sees a soul in everything: pohaku (stones), la`au (plant-life), ka wai (fresh water), ke kai (the ocean), ka makani (the wind) et. al. My friend, spiritual consultant and Akashic Record Reader Akemi Gaines shares the belief that the human being is in the process of escalating spiritual growth. Akemi has read my Akashic Record and I have listened very closely to the information she shared with me. At first I listened with guarded and cautious reserve. This form of spiritual consultation was a first for me. Since that October Akashic Record Reading, the missing dots in my life are connecting. Understanding my past life gives me a story to explain my reluctance to be my self. I have done decades of work re-visiting my family of origin's 'stuff'; it took me 60 years to be ready to hear my Sustaining Soul's story.

Where does this lead us? Well, I'll tell you. When I write I really must listen with my whole body. Here's a quote from Paul Toby who has listened differently to the ringing in his ears. I have purchased his self-help approach to tinnitus and will be experimenting with his findings. I'll share what I learn.

"All that’s involved is simply waking up to the fact that your life is what you make of it. If you give negative meaning to tinnitus then, that will infect all areas of your life. If you wake up to the fact that tinnitus can help your life in positive ways then that will affect all areas of your life.

Use tinnitus as a tool to strengthen your resolve. It came into your life for a reason. Is tinnitus life threatening? No, only if you allow it to be. Is tinnitus keeping you from doing anything you truly want to do? No, only if you allow it to.

What I’m trying to explain is that we give so much meaning to the negative side of tinnitus and we forget the positive side. What is the positive side? By refocusing your attention and giving less meaning to tinnitus you can actually get more accomplished in your life. By learning about and doing what you love your ears will stop ringing and start listening to the beautiful sounds of music all around you. Everything is music to your ears. All you have to do is stop focusing on what you don’t want to hear and start focusing on what you do want to hear. Listen to the wind, the voices, the children, the ocean and the birds and you will begin to hear again what tinnitus has taken away from you; the joy of living."

The ringing in my ears, the tinnitus, if you wish to give it a name others know is a very person messenger. My ears ring for a reason, probably many reasons. Some would silence the ringing FOREVER ... there are drugs, homeopathic remedies. I haven't chosen those solutions. Last night when I was uncomfortable, restless with struggle ... things are not progressing as quickly as we'd like, the MapLoco on the blogs showed ZERO VISITS, winter makes work on VARDOFORTWO the tiny home, a back burner project ... I prayed for guidance, "God, I don't know what I'm doing here"... spent time with one of my favorite meditation tapes The Soul of Healing Meditations and gave the ringing in my ears some company, and finally slipped into sleep.

I woke from wonderful dreams with one of my favorite people. A person whose music I love and whose company I cannot enjoy in person, yet the spirit travels to people and places I cannot reach in this body. I woke hearing the ringing in my ears as I came to write this post, this writing meditation. If I don't listen to my own ring, who will?

Malama pono, (take care)
Mokihana

Do your best in all things … BELIEVE YOUR BEST IS ENOUGH.

Have you ever watched a crystal pendulum swing? In the past I hung one from my bedroom window, took it from its resting place and used it to answer questions that came up during the day. I always asked permission before posing a question and keep the question simple. “Yes” or “No” answers are the only ones I can expect. I settle for them and appreciate the assistance. For more than six years I lived and spent plenty of alone time in Kuli`ou`ou. Rebuilding the old family home, learning to accept the place as it is now. Asking for clarification when old memories of this place muddled my present was a frequent activity. I often used the pendulum. Many of the neighbors in the home place have never left the islands. I on the other hand left when I was twenty-five and returned almost that many years later. I was different for having left. I fled originally for more room to breathe and grow.

The tiny stones scattered beneath the old Hayden Mango tree in my old backyard (the tree now a memory, no longer growing there), enjoyed my company when I was there. But, the tree didn’t miss me when I got too busy or when I avoided the shade of that tree because mosquitoes and the threat of Dengue Fever kept me inside. The beautiful red hibiscus hedges grew well when showers of winter rain soaked their roots and washed the nibbling bugs from their fleshy leaves. The long slender branches reached for the sun and stretched to the sky. Akua and my guardians were ever present, however their voices were hard to hear. Looking back at those years in Kuliouou and my use of the pendulum I see that I was searching for a way to connect with an unadapted version of truth ... a clear source. This part of my journey was a courageous re-entry into an early life of chaos and lack. When my life at mid-center began unraveling I went backwards and sought the corrections I believed might come by living again in a house that had long memories, answers. Maybe, I thought, I was strong enough now to make peace with my past. Pete and I stayed nearly eight years, and then we both knew our best was not enough to change others, we would need to make changes to save our selves.
One episode at a time I understand that it is less important to be ‘right’ and more important to do the best I can regardless of how imperfect that might be. We did rebuild the old Hick's built house and created a beautiful home. What we learned in my old neighborhood was a lesson we would re-learn again and again while we lived on the Islands: your neighbor's choices affect you even when your best efforts at spiritually balancing and peace-making are exhausted each of us affects the other. By the time we sold 319 Dalene Way in 2004 my endocrine system: my thyroid gland in my throat, adrenal glands above my kidneys and my pituitary gland in my brain had collected high levels of pesticides. My relationship with a very long-time friend is different. We no longer 'get' each other and she would not stop using pesticides. Finding my place on the earth, at ease in my skin with the experiences of a woman whose system and organs will not tolerate small levels of chemicals, fragrances or toxins, is a pendulum swinging experience. The arch of the swing sometimes so intense those closest to me find they can’t or don’t wish to ride the arch of those changes. I pray for the wisdom to accept what I cannot change, and more than that I pray to be gently held while I impatiently wait to understand. To be at peace with the fall-out of chemical-usage gone riot is difficult. I am human, not a goddess and today I have a life and voice to share a spiritual journey. I am one example. What comforts me as I write this is knowing that wherever I have been in my journey to be at peace, I have done my best and today I believe that was enough. Tomorrow is another day, and peace comes a day at a time and that is good enough.
Do you make time in your today to believe your best is good enough? Do you tell yourself your best is enough?

Know that wisdom is found in many places … SOFTEN THE GROUND OF YOUR BEING

It has been an interesting morning. Giving birth is organic if the mother is delivering without drugs, and I gotta tell you, except for my cup of tea and coconut milk, this new blog is coming through with nothing added. In fact, Makua O`o the blog has told me more than once, "This is a brand new bag! Start fresh. " You see, I have shared the teachings of 'elder in training' Makua O`o in other forms ... a column I wrote for five years was entitled "Makua O`o" and I also have a draft of a book based on Makua O`o. For the past couple of hours I have been trying unsuccessfully, to cut and paste parts of this draft onto this post. It will not happen. So, I am taking it as a message to SOFTEN THE GROUND OF MY BEING, and see the wisdom in my experience today. There is always room for a lesson to be learned, and it doesn't always take the heavy o`o to clear a small growing patch. What it does take though is attending ... being present.

The spiritual connection I have grown to depend upon is a lot like my morning experience: thinking I could incorporate old and new without first considering the condition of my being at the time. Hmm, this morning I was so excited about the end of 'ole days, and was charged up to start my work day on the blogs. I couldn't wait to get to the laptop. Never mind the fact Pete was having his time at the keys. Sharing still takes practice. Okay, I can share. I climbed back into bed, and chilled out ... softening the chomp on my bit. Sorta. I forgot something though. It has a lot to do with recognizing the need for a transition...setting the place of ritual, giving my subconcious mind a message to prepare and focus. The excitment of a new project had me rigid with the prospect. My edges made me lose sight of the value of being with someone I love, who shares this very tiny space most hours of every day. To evolve spiritually I need to remember my humanity. Single-mindedness isn't a bad thing. It does need softening sometimes. And then the lesson comes.

What is Spiritual practice? from Wikipedia I found this.

"Spiritual practices, like meditation, yoga and vegetarianism, have often been thought to characterize Eastern religion more than Western. Perhaps this comes from the perception that Eastern religion is more marked than Western religion by mysticism. This perception might be true to some degree, but even Western religious traditions that eschew mystical practices often have many practices and rituals which could count as a 'spiritual practice.' In any case, Western religions, speaking generally, tend to focus on professed theological ideas more than in the east. The Islamic salat, for example, confesses the shahada, and Christian prayer in its many forms often focuses on God, God's character, Christ, or the surroundings of the person praying. By contrast, Buddhist meditation on koans focuses on absurd paradoxes as the key to the emptying of the (no-)self (anatman). It may be useful to the reader to compare and contrast the notion of spiritual practice with that of worship, as well as the notions adoration, veneration, and prayer."

How do you create a place for spiritual practice?

Remember comments are disabled during the week, and will be turned on Saturday and Sunday, so if you have thoughts or would like to share your own form of spiritual practice please do on the week-end.