The Red Eye of the Bull

"Reddish Aldebaran – the fiery eye of the Bull in the constellation Taurus – is an aging star and a huge star! The computed diameter is between 35 and 40 solar diameters. If Aldebaran were placed where the sun is now, its surface would extend almost to the orbit of Mercury.[...]" -The constellation Taurus, Earthsky.org

The evening sky, around sunset and into the late night, has been wonderfully clear and filled with the company of lights. Prominent among the lights o-ka-lani of the heavens is a big, bright red one. Curious to know more I woke from a Scotch Broom pollen daze, filled my cup with hot water, had a little chat with Pete and went searching. Ah, the internet the library ever-open. The Earthsky article on Aldebaran continues, "History and mythology of Aldebaran. Aldebaran is often depicted as the fiery eye of Taurus the Bull. Because it is bright and prominent, Aldebaran was honored as one of the Four Royal Stars in ancient Persia, the other three Royal Stars being Regulus, Antares and Fomalhaut.

The name Aldebaran is from the Arabic for “The Follower,” presumably as a hunter following prey, which here likely was the star cluster we call the Pleiades. The latter was often viewed as a flock of birds, perhaps doves. According to Richard Hinckley Allen in his classic book Star Names, the name Aldebaran once was applied to the entire Hyades star cluster, a large loose collection of faint stars[...]

Astronomer Jack Eddy has suggested a connection with the Big Horn Medicine Wheel, an ancient circle of stones atop a mountain in Wyoming. Eddy wrote that the ancient Americans may have used this site as a sort of observatory to view the rising of Aldebaran just before the sun in June to predict the June solstice." The Hawaiian name for Aldebaran is Kapuahi.

"Do we know any Taurus," Pete asked. 

"Sure, there's Joan, and, Leslie." I said.

"Oh yeah, of course. Is Taurus now?" 

"Not the sun position, but other planets are there now." I answered.

To see Aldebaran in the sky click here.


Last night we met with our friends of the South Whidbey Tilth. I have been navigating the skies, and pulling down the wisdom of timing folding in predictive information with the Earthly grit of hard work. Over time and with practice, I have become familiar with how astronomy (observations made and repeated again and again) fits with the myth and interpretation of the lights (planets, stars, moon and sun) I see from my place on Earth.

My ancestors were skilled at these observation and interpretive practices. Fortunately for us, this wisdom was stored in the words of chants ('oli) and most particularly in the Kumulipo (the Hawaiian Creation Chant). 'Oli preserved the word, the spiritual essence of both 'the thing' and its myriad of meaning. The kupuna, our elders, who lived prior to the arrival of sailing ships from the West with men and cultures with vastly different world-view were expert at noticing, and because they lived with this expertise their DNA, their genetic memory lives in us. 

We have the genetics to notice.

Back to the meeting with our friends. Pete and I met with the Board who makes business decisions for the the South Whidbey Tilth. We were proposing, asking, for permission to have a place on the Tilth land to teach and share Hawaiian Practices. HO'OMOKU ... A Place for Hawaiian Practices is an idea becoming firm. Twenty years ago I met and began my apprenticeship as Makua o'o with Kumu Aunty Betty Kawohiokalani Jenkins, that was 1995. The tools for practice as Makua o'o begin with "Keep a keen sense of observation" in Hawaiian, kilo, is the practice. 

So for twenty years I have been learning, and practicing observation. Here or there, on the islands of Hawaii, not on the islands of Hawaii. Robust and fiery, dampened and weak, season in, season out I jump into the water and swim. When I was a young writer for a corporate retailer out of Seattle in the early 1980's one of the bosses within the department was considering whether to allow me to do management training sessions. She put me through a sort of 'test' to hear and watch my style and comfort with the prescribed methodology. I wasn't very good, or comfortable with it. I tended to divert and make things up. 

She asked me, "How do you problem-solve?" It was a question I'd never been asked before. 

Naively I said, "I just tend to jump in and figure it out while I'm at it." She was not impressed. I did not get to do the training. I kept writing, and writing, and observed the flow inside the workings of an institution that would be struck with lightning ... a tsunami. The '80's was the decade that saw the shift from retail rung up with a cash register (by punching numbers on a price ticket) to the design and manufacturing of the UPC symbol (that set of black and white bars) and the layer scanner.

While that corporation, and that manager who tested me keep training in the usual way, I wrote myself into a place where my writing and DNA for observational skills helped to design the first UPC labels for all those lipstick tubes, and other drug store consumables. I made up lessons plans to move a generation of old school retailers into their future. In board rooms with men in suits I told them stories about making laulau (Hawaiian bundles of meat and fish wrapped in leaves and steamed). Through that allegory where they had no idea what Hawaiian food had to do with investing big dollars into something called a computerized cash register those people road the wake of change. No one else would jump in and swim with the unfamiliar tide. The rest as they say ... is history.

Funny how things unfold. 

That corporate experience would feed my family for thirteen years, provide a(nother) jumping off point when I divorced and returned to Hawaii. I would meet my kumu Aunty Betty within a few months, and the next level of kilo practice began. My ancestors and the land had lessons far greater to test me with. I have been at it ever since, season in, season out.

Kumu
Aunty Betty Kawohiokalani Ellis Jenkins

The meeting with our friends from the South Whidbey Tilth went smoothly and graciously. I was prepared, used all those years as a corporate writer to craft a simple and clear proposal. The meeting was held inside a building. That presents challenges for me. I came with my oxygen tank and mask, and made the point. One of the main reason for creating HO'OMOKU using the small open-air site is it is fragrance-free and chemical free. There are few places I can be, let alone teach a small group. As I made our proposal I spoke with and without the mask. People were receptive, had questions, and suggestions. Within thirty minutes HO'OMOKU was accepted and welcomed. The first sessions for this new venture, built upon the work of The Safety Pin Cafe's storytelling events, begins July 10, 2015 ... this summer. 

How does this all relate to the Red Eye of the Bull? That eye is the bright red star in the constellation Taurus. It is a spring star, and one that can be used to predict the June Solstice. Mid-point season. Timing from another angle, yesterday when we made our presentation was LONO Po (Lono Moon) according to Kaulana Mahina (the Hawaiian Moon Calendar). "No fishing. Plant ipu and melon." I was not fishing last night, but I was 'making island.' That's what ho'omoku means in Hawaiian. With that one investment with the South Whidbey Tilth a coral reef began to grow. The wisdom of my Hawaiian kupuna tells me, "He puko 'a kani 'aina. A coral reef that grows into an island. A person beginning in a small way gains steadily until she becomes firmly established." Pete and I were planting the coral polyp (ipu) for future fish to feed upon.

That Taurus connection with Aldebaran's red eye? My North Node is in Taurus. I am searching for that place of comfort with the sacred and meaningful in the everyday. That's what this old woman, this makua o'o longs for. 

Do you know Taurus? Interested in learning more about HO'OMOKU ... A Place for Hawaiian Practices? Click here, please.

Last chances: Saturn returns (retrograde) to Scorpio March 14, 2015

My favorite astrologer Elsa P. wrote this morning,

"Saturn will turn retrograde in Sagittarius on March 14th, 2015.  He’ll return to Scorpio the second half of June through the first half of September. Scorpio and the other fixed signs (Taurus, Leo & Aquarius) read this and groan. However, I see this as an opportunity.

Saturn only transits a sign every 28.5 years. If you keep this in mind, you can see this is your last chance to get a grip on Scorpio-themed problems and set yourself up for close to three decades..."



I discovered Elsa P, blogger and astrologer when Pete and I were rebuilding our lives and building the tiny home we call VardoForTwo. Regular readers know the story of how and when I first discovered Elsa, but I'll recap, and use a scene and line from a movie we watched the other night. The movie is "Love is strange".

The movie is about two older men, Ben and George (71) who marry. Ben teaches music in a Catholic school and when news of the same-sex marriage gets to the higher ups Ben is fired. Without his income the newly married couple are forced to sell their apartment and separate as the only solution; Ben moves in with their former neighbors (two party-loving gay cops) and George goes to stay with his nephew's family and sleeps in the lower bunk with his grand-nephew.

These are deep (Scorpio) issues and both men, and their families and friends are challenged (Saturn) to deal with life in its murky reality. The line and scene from the movie happens very late in the film. George is sitting on the couch during one of the party-loving cops' party. He really wants to sleep, but, a young man comes to sit on the other end of the couch. They start talking. George wonders whether the young man is hitting on him. He isn't. But, when the young man discovers the couch is George's bed he asks, "Are you homeless?" George says, "Yes." The conversation grows and both men lead to the discovery that the young (anthropologist) is about to leave the city for another country and has the keys to a rent-control apartment. The apartment that is now empty.

Through the adversity late in life George and Ben make the most of their opportunities to deal with Scorpio issues (sex, power, legacy). A new home comes just in time ... but there is a bitter quirk to it (and I won't spoil it for those of you who might want to see the excellent portrayal of men on the screen).

Circling around to how this relates to meeting my astrologer, and the upcoming Saturn retrograde to Scorpio. When I first discovered Elsa Panizzon, Pete and I were sleeping on the floor of a basement apartment kitchen. We were to most peoples' eyes/thinking homeless. We were learning to live with an illness that many couldn't understand, and though we had money to rent, we had to live in a foil-wrapped kitchen floor because 'normal' housing was unsafe for me.

While Pete found the material and built an eight foot by twelve foot mobile bedroom on a lawn perched over industrial Seattle, I struggled and dealt with a body and soul that needed re-fitting. We had internet, and an old laptop. As I searched for materials and processes to build our new life I found the first astrology blog ever ... Elsa Elsa.

Since the resources and values that suited me pre-illness were not working (Scorpio-stuff) I would need to find a larger picture to reframe life to survive. Elsa Panizzon taught me to use astrology to understand myself in relationship to the whole. That was 2008. Elsa was my 'young anthropologist at the other end of the couch.'

When Saturn retrogrades into Scorpio again in June (through the first half of September) 2015, the planet gives me a second chance to look at the power struggles I have with my public image Sun (10th House of Career); Mercury (how I think); and the deep and primal wounds of Chiron. My dreams rehash my past roles and careers, I revisit homes I have long ago left. Are there any gems of good to bring with me at this stage of life? Or, can I move into this new spring and summer and fall of 2015 willingly and easily letting go of the struggle.

Can I go back to school and learn my lessons well as the old Crosby Still Nash and Young song goes? I am a Scorpio-sun woman, born in the year of the Golden Pig in the Chinese zodiac. Can I use this Saturn retrograde school time and become the good-natured essential Pig at 67. The I was born to be?

Any other Scorpios (or Fixed signs) relate?

  

Teachability

 “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”
― Dr. Seuss

My astrologer, Elsa P. posed a seemingly simple question on her blog today: "How can a person reach you?"  As I wrote in a comment to her query I couldn't answer the question and that really puzzled me. I've learned over time to leave something (a question, a puzzle) alone, relax (that's not always easy, but there it is!) do something good for myself, and most of all go to sleep/rest/dream. As I wrote yesterday, these are the 'Ole Moon times; today is 'Ole Pau the last of the four rest and reflective phases prior to the Full Moon coming up in the sign of Cancer (January 15, 2014). Something sweet and sour about 'Ole Pau phases is the potential to be "without" ('ole) for a long time (pau). On the one hand you might not want to get married on this day if there's any hesitation in your gut if marriage in your culture is a forever no nevermind sort of value. Then again if this is THE one and you both know it, this one will be long lasting one "without end." Everywhere you look there is the duality of answers, an axis of opposites and ultimately and every time, both are true depending upon your point of view.

So, on an 'Ole Moon the reflection with Elsa's query is on the value of being teachable. To teach well and truly, the teacher must remain ever teachable; that in a nutshell is the reason Makua o'o is a lifetime journey and practice. "There is so much to learn," as Pua Kanakaole Kanahele exclaims in this YouTube presentation.

Astrology and genealogy are long-term teaching experiences that serve me well and differently as I grow and age. Both tools have given me the long-sighted view of being human that I suppose would not require so much time, if I were an astronaut. The chance for that to happen in this lifetime is scant, but the lesson of being human and appreciating Earth as the Mother-she-is could not be better served than to see and feel what space-travelers see when they are on their way back home after being on the moon. What happens for me when I see the photo of Earth from space, and read the quotes from astronauts is inspiration-insight-infusion from the Gods. Astrologically, Neptune transforms any doubt in me that we are all connected. Genealogy. Long-view perspective integrates and I feel the heartbeat of my culture as woman with blood of the kanaka maoli. I am reached and know why "malama 'aina" means love the land and the land is Earth. I have a heavy signature of Capricorn and Saturn (long term work). If I'm not teachable the hard becomes brittle, and brittle break. Flexibility comes from Jupiter and Venus. Astrology teaches me how to appreciate those angles, not all at once, but with practice. So I practice.

Seated here in front of the computer screen in a tiny hut that just barely separates me from hundreds of tall and rooted trees I am awake and aware to the presents: those trees root me and us to the ground and to Earth; without them it would be a very different place/home; all that green the astronauts saw from space? Trees. A pot of chicken stew steams on the burner, I hear the water simmer making lunch for us. The simple and ordinary process of cutting up carrots, Kabocha, onions and collards involves in what we'll eat in an hour. Pete my husband is resting deeply, worn from the weather, the doing of a very action-oriented Cancerian man. His body senses the need for the rest and these 'Ole Moons take on a very sensual reality for him, for us. There are many steps, many processes involved in living this life from tiny rooms built in the woods. Work is involved. Someone needs to do things, even as the reflections are important the dishes, the stew, the composting toilet, the feeding of chickens and the feeding of the cat: things that must be done.

Gently now than perhaps at other times the role of doer and being flips and for now I do more, while also being grounded like the Tall Ones (the trees), or the wakame (the seaweed, the kelp) that is held fast to sea stones and moves with the push of wind or tides. The wind and water influence me, the trees remind me they cannot dance unless they are firmly rooted. I remain teachable and give thanks that I can be reached. You?

Practicing the art of living (be flexible)

"This is a week of weather: all sorts of weather. On Friday a handful of friends came out to the South Whidbey Tilth to practice. What a day it was. BLUSTERY! The wind made itself present, and made some decisions about where and how to set the tents for The Safety Pin Cafe. Fiber Artist Pam Winstanley has helped with designs and support for this project since I first dreamed up the possibility of 'an event.' Jo Stevens, South Whidbey Tilth's Land Steward and Farmers' Market Manager was with us to choose a location for the setup and hold the tent down when the wind became bombastic. Pete made sure the chicken stew was hot and slices of whole wheat bread and butter were ready when we were too wind-blown to keep practicing. I cooked up the stew, made a batch of cinnamon toast and chanted a prayer of permission to be in this place...

Click here to read more about setting the table for The Safety Pin Cafe.

Pete in the Orchard ... practicing

Astrologically, Elsa P. my favorite astrologer said this about this week:

Her newsletter described the week as: "Why It's Not A Good Idea To Get Whipped Into A Frenzy This Week"

"We've got a potent week on tap. I know a lot of people are afraid of the new moon on Friday. I don't think this makes a lot of sense so I want to come in with another perspective. The week is dominated by a cardinal T-square involving the Sun, Uranus and Pluto... Is is hard-core?  Yes. 

 

But we are going to be dealing with a cardinal t-square well into 2014.  See Year-long Cardinal T-Square)

 

Considering this, a person would be well-advised to learn all they can about this energy, embrace it and learn to work with it. This week provides an excellent opportunity to do this, because there are so few distractions.

 

As an example of what I mean, my husband speaks a lot of languages. He says they are easy to learn if you're immersed in the culture where the particular language is spoken.  So this is like that. We're all going to be wrapped up with energy. Why not make it pay?

Practicing the art of living is all about (for me) learning to be flexible. The weather? I cannot do much about it, but I can attend to it, have Plan B, and immerse myself in the culture of where we live now. That place is the Pacific Northwest and the season is the beginning of the wet time. One of the many things living with MCS teaches us is to see life as art and make the best art possible. Rain or shine.

And your art of living?

Turn that ship around! On an 'Ole Moon?

" Mercury in Leo quinunxes Pluto and trines Uranus. The narrative of your story is bound to change over the course of this Pluto-Uranus square. But it takes a while for a big boat to turn around. Perception has to shift before your storyline can change. Can you see it shifting yet? Do you sense the changes in how you see yourself? Be creative under this influence. This is the perfect time to express yourself in a new way, maybe show a side of yourself that is shocking in its fresh and soulful quality. You’re writing the newest edition of you, and it’s okay, even encouraged, to share some spoilers." -Satori

It's an 'Ole Moon during Saturn in Scorpio Season. Translation? It's a time when deep shifting is going on but it takes a while for a big boat to turn around.  An 'Ole Moon in the Hawaiian Moon Calendar is a rest and reflect time. No new projects, good time for weeding, and repairing nets for fishing another time. The big boat metaphor Satori uses in the astrology over on ElsaElsa is perfect for me as I paddle my canoe, yet again, in the deep water of new territory. The voices of fear launch the anchors, "Throw that out there, slow her down!" they yell. "Ain't she supposed to be disabled by some disease?" The old edition of my story has me listening and heeding those dissidents. In the newest edition of me I notice I'm allowing the undertow of habit lure me like the sirens on the rocks. But, as I'm the writer of my fresh and soulful newest story I keep turning the canoe.

Saturn in Scorpio Season is a slow one but it's purposeful and deep. I need to remind myself of this. I am Scorpio and I feel. Slow and deep. The process of writing and designing a creative expression like the medicine story The Safety Pin Cafe is not easy: it's a big ship, a large canoe crossing an ocean of culture(s). Ten months ago the story began to feed itself to me; I wrote it down. Slowly, the medicine of story worked with me. I wrote it down and shared it. It was early Saturn in Scorpio ... just getting the feel for what this could mean. One month ago I fashioned a place for that medicine story to have a bigger audience (I have Scorpio in the 10th and 11th Houses-Public Affiliations.) One week ago our local public radio station contacted me to do an interview on internet-live radio about The Safety Pin Cafe. The host was very interested in my practice of Makua O'o. We talked for an hour. It's now a podcast available on-line. In six weeks I'm scheduled to present the opening of The Safety Pin Cafe, live and "in person" as a storytelling venue.

Is that a slow turn of a big ship? The 'Ole Moons give me the rest time to make sure of my direction and my commitment to my new edition of me. Writing this down in the early hours of 'Ole here I use the tools of the makua o'o and notice how I feel. I ask for clarity and wait for the rhythm of my heart and pray for the patience to not force the next beat. Ask for the reminders of muscle and cultural memory that says, "You are a seasoned traveler, a storyteller who has done this before. Sure and humble, level-headed, you know you have help feel it in your whole body. Wait, it is the time for waiting. Turn the canoe slowing to avoid huli (capsizing)."

Is there a new version of you in the making?

Common heroics: using the energy of a Grand Cardinal Cross

"[The Grand Cardinal Cross]... While this is a recipe for emotional upset and family (Moon, Cancer) strife (Mars), it’s also a good day to surprise (Uranus) the collective (Pluto) by pulling off a heroic feat." - ElsaElsa today

We're back home after a short outing to one of our favorite farmer's market. The weather is shifting a bit from the weeks of rain-free July the vardo steps were wet from an overnight rain. The wild huckleberries are showing up green and hard like pellets, but the promise of ripeness starts to shine through after a shower.

I was up very early this morning, tweaked by the emotional upset contributed by the astrology of the universe's sky. There are things I can do: I turn to the tools of the makua o'o and notice what's happening inside and out; listen with my whole body and; ask for clarity. Timing is really out of my hands as I attend to what I can do, and what I can think. With no one awake but me and my cat we spent the early hours comforting each other. The purr of a cat is direct medicine! Licking my hand also helps.Within a couple hours the emotional upset had flowed out and into the universe, into the earth, out into the air. I did some writing and freed up space for something new ... strife was averted internally.

After breakfast Pete and I worked together on a home improvement project that needs to be in place before the winter rains come and park here in the woods. We are replacing the golf umbrellas over the vardo porch. Sweet as they have been for three years, the sun and rain have worn them down and something else is needed. Pete has extended the copper-piped frame we use to protect us from the weather. Two years ago we found an unused roll of 10 year old outdoor canvas. I use it for projects in our tiny home spaces. This year I'm figuring out how to sew and tether the canvas into an awning.
With help from the fantastically helpful and knowledgeable lady-at-the-sewing store I think I have what I need to take the next steps.

In a way this is the Uranus (surprising) stuff that makes our life as tiny home folks exciting and satisfying. We use stuff we have and apply the magic that made The Safety Pin Cafe ... and pin solutions together. When we took a break and showed up at the South Whidbey Tilth Farmer's Market there were neighbors to chat with, new neighbors to meet; connections to be made and pins to link one person's need with another person's skill. The first year (four summers ago) on Whidbey Island this farmer's market was the place I could safely be: chemical and pesticide free with people who seemed to care, authentically! Now I can offer new people the support and hand-holding assurance that yes ... there's someone here who can help. The whole morning was one of common heroics.

Tomorrow the four days and nights of the 'Ole Moons give us time to reflect and review, weed and repair, maintain what's working and recoup from whatever, and whatnot.

And you?

December 30th: need a reason for a resolution?

The Sun conjuncts Pluto somewhere in the zodiac, once a year.  This year, the conjunction falls on December 30th.  The Sun Pluto conjunction only occurs at the first of the year, for about 3 years out of 240, so  if you were ever going to make a New Year’s resolution, this would be the year to do so... In whatever case, this is not a fluffy thing nor a fluffy time. You want to set a goal that will require a focused effort. Read the rest from Elsa P.

From Terri Windling's blog Myth and Moor this quote:  "You're an artist ... that means you see the world in ways that other people don't. It's your gift, to see the beauty and the horror in ordinary things. It doesn't make you crazy--just different. There's nothing wrong with being different."  - Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

Pete and I were up early. Pete finished off yesterday's dishes and I got oatmeal and raisins going on the small stove top burner. The oatmeal was cooked perfectly. I sprinkled each bowl with cinnamon and a dollop of coconut oil and a dose of sesame milk. We ate breakfast over lively conversation about art and resistance.


The topic led to Pete asking, "If there was something physical to [serve] as resistance to get around, over, through what would it be?"
At first I wasn't sure what he was asking. I had to think about it. I think best in silence. Pete likes to talk things through, have conversation. He's got Gemini. We got somewhere between spoonfuls of warm and comforting oatmeal.
"Cold. Cold and damp are physical resistance for me," I said finally.
"I've been dealing with cold all my life," my husband said.
"And, I haven't. Although damp and wet I know. It rains in Hawaii, too. Memories of damp winters and leaky roof." I chimed.
"Thing is with cold, you have to do something to make it better. Just can't sit there. One stone at a time, you have to warm the stone and bring it in. Ask me to warm up another ..." We use stones heated in water and wrapped in wool socks to get intense heat to ward off cold. I got the message he was offering.

If there is a resolution I want to make it is about caring deeply about staying the [long-term] course of art and writing. I know I need to commit to being confident in the work, and open to being taught what I can not do. If I resist? I stay cold. If I stay cold? Well ... Here's what showed up in my writers' group yesterday as I considered the answer to that question.

The Mistress

"Another?" She asked.
"Well really, I'd rather not," I was using my most forthright voice even as my body was feeling more like the insides of the jelly doughnut. The light from the near-shortest day was already deepening the colors outside. Still, there was sun and a blue sky. She was asking whether another dose of practical medicine wasn't what I required. I was trying to assure ... who? I was trying to assure myself that I did not need yet another cold, a second one this season. I continued ...

 "More sleep is all I need, really," my internal edges sense change more thoroughly than many and after all I thought I'd just finished with 10 doses of remedy. The Mistress was patient, infinitely patient, but was not easily swayed when she spotted something out of place. Virgo. She had shared that bit of her birthmarks with me, and I rarely forget.

"Sleep is a good remedy any day of the week, Pale. I know the cold and damp are not your favorite combination. Let it be so, we will make no never-mind." Her voice was calm and reassuring. She cinched her pouch of herbs; the smell of ginger pungent in the air. The Mistress' bent yet still strong fingers rubbed the dry yellow powder between her thumb and fingers leaving the pinkie and ring finger free. "Back into bed then," she said pulling the bed covers back for me she left finger prints of ginger powder at the edges. "For clarity, and dreams that make room for tomorrow." Smiling I simply nodded knowing she had left me with a remedy nonetheless. I nestled against my pillow, pulled the covers against my chin, and slept.

Do you have reason for new year resolutions?

#6 The Safety Pin Cafe: More pie, please

The Sun trines Uranus exact while Chiron trines Venus and squares the Sun. This energy can be used to suss out which things you chase are truly helpful to your goals and which are related to past hurts better left behind.-Satori looks at the Sky

To catch up on the story click here where it starts... 

Raven was not a bird long on words. Once his glasses slipped onto the slight indentations above his long curved beak he pulled the kihei securely across my breasts. "The borders," he said. "They need you," as he finished securing the mulberry bark shawl like a cape with a pin. The window was ajar just enough to allow his silver finger-tips to graze the gossamer curtains as he left me here. Between.

The stones on the strange bed were smooth. A mix of pebbles and fist-sized stones like the beach rocks from my favorite walking beach looking west. Pushing myself off the edge of bed which rose perfectly my boots found the floor solidly.I looked around for my paisley shawl and red hibiscus-pinned hat. Not here. Instead, I held the mulberry bark cape, feeling the soft texture of finely worked wauke. A master's work. The night was deep, but the stars and planets were in their places; the moon already set. Once at the window's ledge the breeze fussed with the sheer cotton. "Oh come in then," fragments of dust mingled with the stitches in the curtain hem. "I see you are here and have things to tell me. So out with it." I was using my most forthright voice with the Stardust, it's the language they really find most irresistible.

A simple wooden chair with wonderfully carved arms was placed facing out the single window. A well-sat upon cushion made of cobalt blue velvet once plush was still comfortably welcoming. I took the seat and waited as the Stardust reassembled itself into the shape of a pie. A smile, then a hearty laugh break from me, "And what sort of pie have you now?" The answer: A... pie... from...the... sky. "Of course. Granny Smith would be my wish, " It was necessary to listen with undiluted attention since the language of stars pales to the clatter of most Earth sounds. Soon the smell of hot apple pie filled my nostrils. Always with the cinnamon and crystals of sugar, and buttery pastry. I listened to the messenger.

A border witch like myself depends upon longevity for power; early on the journey is often a jumble and tumble affair. We don't come to fit our names until Saturn has returned twice to our birth markers. So, you see being no-longer-young has it's upsides. Navigating and translating my work as  border witch this time, I sensed the message had something to do with the Faceless Woman. She was in one of the rooms. More than the heart of wood from sweet Josephine, the Faceless Woman needed some of that pie from the sky.

"Just how does a faceless woman eat pie?" I said to myself hoping to get some clue from the Stardust. As if the question unplugged the lights from those stars, in a blink they were gone and in their place I heard, "We are stars. You're the witch."

So what do you think? How does a faceless woman eat pie? If you're game, leave your solution in the comments and join me in The Safety Pin Cafe.

~*~

[An update: If you have recently found "The Safety Pin Cafe", and are following the links at the bottom of each installment please be patient as I include more live links to get you through. If you'd like to venture to the next installment on your own "Hurray adventuress." You'll know you have read the whole when you have read 10 installments.
Aloha, Mokihana 7/14/2016]

The Safety Pin Cafe is Copyright Protected (c)
Yvonne Mokihana Calizar, 2012

Astrology and Navigation: Neptune and delusion

"...Take care that your communications come from a need to improve on matters in a healing way and not from the pain of your primal damage. Neptune conjuncts Chiron long term and this can foster illusions about our primal damage or the inability to see it for what it is...-from Satori's post "Emotional Intelligence"

Photo Credit: Ben Heines from Flickr

We have a sun-break in the woods. For however brief it is a welcomed reprieve from Neptune, god of water. Our weather is temperate in comparison with much of the rest of the US continent. Here the wintry edge is barely frosty, but we are damp! The shift and drop of temperature and the chilly winds create an atmospheric condition I experience as fog: my ears plug and I lose my balance. When I lose my balance my feet feel it. I do hear with my feet. My little toes are the navigational markers that receive the brunt of this fog. No longer flat and anchoring, the two little ones curl from years of being caught on ill-placed chair legs or corners. They've been broken and mended into odd angles. Satori's post above got me thinking (Mercury) about the long-term conjunction of water(Neptune) with Chiron (the deep wounds). Neptune and Chiron conjunct in my 2nd House in Pisces (Neptune-ruled). What I value now is becoming foggy.

"Neptune, at its core, is neither good nor bad.  It’s the part of us that yearns for spiritual awakening and to transcend this reality.  When you do awaken to the spiritual side of life, it may take many years—or even lifetimes—to deal with it in a bal­anced way. The novice seeker is prone to false trails, self-delusion, and ideas that are quite strange.
During many Neptune transits, an important task is to sort out, either by careful thought or bitter experience, what is of value and what is false among spiritual teachings. Since Neptune rules both psychic experience and fraud, there are many phony or misguided occultists and self-styled gurus. Using psychic powers and finding your way among spiritual teachers is like learning to walk all over again, only more difficult. With all that fog, who can see where to plant their feet?- Donna Cunningham, "How strong is your Neptune?"

I observe the adaptations Nature makes as part of the nature of being alive. It helps so much to be surrounded by the Tall Ones. They tower round us and if I'm not careful I slip on the human-centric and believe all trees are the same. Outside the vardo window the Tall Ones teach me differently. The Pine who guards the corner south-west corner rises tall in the sky. But, only when you look at her from a distance do you see how she is bent at a distinct angle stories above us? As the winter rains saturate the forest the rotting Tall Ones turn to giant mush and windfalls are common. Out on a walk this morning I spied the Red Alder that toppled into the neighborhood road blocking passage for our neighbors below. We rallied to the phone calls for help only to find that a chain saw and male muscle was unnecessary. The pulpy tree broke into manageable chunks under the foot and clear-headed thinking of our neighbor the nurse.

In my life, the times like these when my balance is awkward, it is so important for me to navigate patiently ... more slowly, and consciously. Accidents and injuries are magnified under these conditions. I wiggle my toes and the littlest one says, "We know!" What is it I value now as my 65th birthday approaches? Reading Donna Cunningham's missive about Neptune, I think of the Portland-based astrologer I came to know via the Internet and appreciate the broad application of heaven's angles.

"...The Mercury Neptune square is concerning and is likely to be more problematic than the eclipse as it's very easy to be undone by your own thinking. The truth will be obfuscated under this aspect, and let's face it, it's hard to navigate a sea of lies.  People will be easily misled this week. In many cases they'll mislead themselves, so if you tend to delude yourself by nature, be extra careful this week. Er... don't believe everything you hear!  - from ElsaElsa's Heads Up! Free Weekly Newsletter beginning Thursday, November 9, 2012[ to subscribe go to www.elsaelsa.com]

Neptune is making his presence known on our home planet. Slow moving yet unstoppable, the nature of water (Neptune) is impacting the eastern coast of the US. Hurricane. Snow. Water and wind. Astrology is informing me on many different fronts and to sort them I put the ideas here being aware that I could easier mislead myself. Tucked into two pair of cotton and wool socks my feet are warm and dry. My curly baby toes nestle against their straight and grounded sibling appendages. Not left to fend for themselves they navigate with some surety. I listen as I navigate ... sea of lies? Maybe, maybe not.

How well are you navigating today? Where is Neptune and Chiron conjunct in your chart?

Full Solar Eclipse (and New Moon) in Scorpio, November 13, 2012

" I still carry the land so deep in my bones that I cannot bear to go back...Perhaps to know so familiar a place better it must become strange again."
-Ellen Meloy, The Anthropology of Turquoise.

I am reading two books by Ellen Meloy at the moment, Eating Stone (her last and final book) and The Anthropology of Turquoise. Choosing not to read the books from front cover to end, this morning as Pete and I sat to eat oatmeal together I flipped to a page in The Anthropology of Turquoise and found the lines quoted above. From her essay "Waiting Its Occasions" the descriptions contain threads broad and lumpy weaving place, people, legacies and spirit together in a heart-rich rendering. "The true heart of a place does not come in a week's vacation. To know it well, as Mary Austin wrote, one must "wait its occasions"--follow full seasons and cycles, a retreating snowpack, a six-year drought, a ponderosa pine eating up a porch. Meloy writes about memories of her Sierra days of "witless youth and enflamed senses" in this essay. Sparked by Meloy's words I consider the naturalist's essays in concert with the cycles and landscape I navigate as sun, moon, earth, planets and stars align with the life that becomes my memories.

The Solar Eclipse occurs when the Sun, Moon and Earth line up in such a way that the Moon obscures the Sun from the Earth. This can only occur during a [ New Moon phase.] The human response to the Solar Eclipse is both physical and psychological. It is not uncommon for the individual to develop an awareness of change shortly before, during and after an eclipse. Solar Eclipses focus the spotlight onto the Self...The Solar Eclipse can help you to regroup and focus, for a while, on an area in your life that may need extra attention or change.

Source: http://www.lunarliving.org/moon/astrology-solareclipses-zodiachouses.html

New Moon, the Hilo Moon in the Hawaiian Moon Calendar is a time of new beginnings. With the solar eclipse this month (days before my 65th birthday) I am aware of the bridge of opportunity available. Like the old Mission Impossible line, "Your mission, should you choose to accept it ..." I can't cross that bridge if I don't know its there. The astrology of the solar eclipse in the sign of Scorpio using the Equal House System shines into my 11th House of friends, relationships, affiliations. Drawing again from LunarLiving, I found this:

With the Solar Eclipse in the 11th House: The focus is on society and the human race. Group interests and organizational involvement become more significant in one's life. It is typically through eleventh house relationships and experiences that charitable viewpoints develop. One's own sense of worth is advanced when selfless humanitarian acts become a common practice or accepted as a natural decree of the universe.

Small and significant affiliations link me to the community where Pete and I live. More than ever, at least more than has been the case for years now, I am enjoying company. Releasing myself from the isolation of illness and trauma, my boundaries are healthier and fit me better today. Moment to moment, and day into night I come to know this self because, for a time (years) I did not know who I was or where I was. To become familiar again, I needed to become a hermit cloistered in tinier and tinier spaces with little outside stimulation. Feeling my way through the moments allowed confidence to grow from the inside out ... slowly.While I cloistered, my 12th House Moon (in Capricorn) was able to restore the emotional ground around me: I wrote, I wrote, I write. Servicing my self through blogging, and creating one after another, the act of witnessing my life served (12th House). Healing and recovering in the privacy of my world in the woods, a body of writing has toned my muscle for affiliation. I know myself as I am now not as I was before or at the peak of the illness. That bridge of opportunity is reworked, marked "Mission Impossible"  and lit with the illumination of a Hilo Moon of new beginnings.

If you need one more idea about making sure of the energy of this Solar Eclipse, click here for an insight from Elsa P. Set an intention for this New Moon.


Where does the Scorpio New Moon and Solar Eclipse illuminate your astrology (what house)?



The total solar eclipse will be visible in the southern hemisphere of Earth November 13-14, 2012. Click here to check out when the solar eclipse is visible in your part of the world.

Full Moon in Taurus, October 29, 2012: Commit Deeply

A late edit and apology:  The Full Moon in Taurus happens on October 29th ... not 20th ... my typo...so sorry!

The rains have soaked us. Three months of dry weather can do a world of good in a place where the verdant green is a substantial indicator of what is usual. Quiet now, the Tall Ones fill the moku with life -- oxygen and clarity crisp the morning after hours of drenching rain. A line of hemp rope stretched across the window as I write in the vardo extends the rain fly that is now not quite large enough to temper the downpour over the Quonset. Waterfalls dumped from the pockets of the nylon fly as Ka Lani (the heavens) opened up yesterday. We have plenty to do yet to make our nearly finished renovations warm enough for the dropping temperatures to come. Yet the lull of a rain-less morning is just the reminder we need to appreciate the good: shelter, dry surroundings, room to move, people we love. I count on the moon and recognize this is the beginning of the four 'Ole Phases of the moon cycle -- a time to take inventory, mend nets, weed the garden, do maintenance, before Mahina becomes full.

The four full moons of Kaulana Mahina during this malama (month)illuminate a very powerful energy of deep commitment available to us all. My astrologer, Elsa P. gives this insight to the Full Moon in Taurus on October 20, 2012, and in particular this angle fuels me:

...There is a chance for a big win here. A big score.  It could be a bunch of money, but most likley, you have a big idea or a vision of some kind. Now is the time to pull it all together and make a deep commitment to life (Sun) and your emotional (Moon) well-being...

The full moon in Taurus will light up my 4th House, and my North Node (using the unequal house systems). Again and again I write about that Taurus North Node to soothe and encourage the slow and persisting journey of being human. And, accepting that this journey is a changeable one I fold in the small shifts to get a bigger picture.The he'e (the octopus) flashes into my mind as I sit with what I am writing ... pausing to gather seemingly unconnectables, there is a way to commit to this artful life.

Elsa's thought, "But most likely, you have a big idea or a vision of some kind," rings long enough in my na'au (guts) and reaches for this mana'o from Kumu Hula KehauKekua when she speaks about the greed involved in developing the aha of Wailua on the island of Kauai.

“When I teach halau, I have absolutely no inhibitions. Nothing keeps me from speaking to the sacred and the profound. I have amazing trust and confidence in the power of the land and the gods and the ancestors... “Sometimes what appears to be a lost battle is really not. It’s an illusion. The natural world will always shift things back into balance. Some of the development, unfortunately, we’ll have to live with. But in no way, shape or form should it stop us from elevating the sacredness [of Wailua.] ...The pule(prayers) become even more important because you have to work much harder to make the connection, and unfortunately, a lot of people give up. Many have disconnected from the traditional practices. As a Native Hawaiian, I believe it’s our responsibility to continue them, even in these modern times, because sacred places are only in history books unless you’re practicing.”

Like the he'e (octopus) my practice as makua o'o is a path, a garden planted with experience that stretches me; tentacles that were once severed serve as reminders of my disconnection from the traditional practices. Back and forth I have traveled between the sacred places of my birth wandering and wondering if I have the scent of things or just the illusion of them. Never count us deeply connected Scorpio's out and down for the count; we are born to reassemble and rise from the ashes. This full moon approaching is fueling me to appreciate and be responsible for the sacred and valuable traditions that travel with me. Blessed with an enduring coil that depends on the natural world I think of the small stones, the pohaku li'i li'i hanau growing in a bowl of rainwater just outside the vardo. "I think it might be time for you to take care of these," my cousin Mokihana said as she handed me a Tupperware container with a blue plastic lid. Inside I saw four, maybe five stones. Pohaku. "Keep them watered, and malama them," she said. I have, and they do malama(care for) me.

The large stones give birth to the small stones.

"There must be more to life than having everything"

“There must be more to life than having everything.”
― Maurice Sendak

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

The sky is that soft flannel blanket blue and from my window in the vardo Mahina the moon is crisp against it present in her cap of white, her day hat for it is nearly the 'Ole Phases. Present for those who notice, our only moon reflects the sun's light so we can see the wild and wondrous things that are inside.This has been a wild, wild week. Astrologically the past seven days were described like this[subscribe to Elsa's weekly newsletter for a weekly plan that might help]: "This will be one of the most dynamic and challenging weeks we've seen this year.  We're two t-squares and a poorly aspected, explosive full moon in Aries. It makes sense you be armed with a plan so that's what I'll offer." I have been wrestling with issues folks like me at near age 65 are challenged to deal with: Medicare-- to pay for health insurance, or not to pay for health insurance. This post is NOT going to be a debate about health insurance. Instead here is a place where an elder in training picks up her digging stick once again and asks: What's best for her now? Saturn moves into Scorpio (where many planets and interactions take place for me) tomorrow, October 5, 2012. I attend to the heaven's pathways and here's something from Eric Francis I'm considering:

"You are approaching one of the boldest “get serious” moments of your life, a process spanning nearly three years... I’ve described Saturn in your Sun sign (or in your rising sign) as an extended phase of coming to terms with yourself. Said another way, this transit is about becoming your own inner authority, something that few people ever do—and which is much likelier with Saturn in your neighborhood. One sad story of our society is people refusing to grow up; other people continue to have authority over their choices and even their opinions. Saturn in your sign can feel like authority figures or seemingly more powerful people imposing themselves on you. This is a reminder to take authority over all of those aspects of your life, and many more where you anticipate this kind of involvement by others..."

Many "get serious" moments fill my life; internal conflict is tattooed into my astrological chart.The years of living seriously with multiple chemical sensitivities gifted me with an incredible remembering, or what I described in my mythic memoir Wood Craft (soon to be published!) as reassembling.

From Wood Craft this description, "Reassembling is  version of recycling beliefs and attitudes that no longer served the original design of Creation. Bits of the original belief or attitude might have sustaining value. Rather than throw the whole kit and caboodle out, to become part of the Cosmic Heap, the wise Creators gave us the inspiration to simply reassemble and start again without too harsh a melt-down, if at all possible."

From this beautiful place in the woods, my family and I continue reassembling a life that is built upon foundations that are less grand; built less on hubris and more with humility. The extended clear and dry season allows us to rebuild the 8x8 Quonset hut adding more space for two old dears and their cat to enjoy a comfortable winter, stretched out together on chairs around a sweet round table for hot food and lively conversation. Not too much to expect, and definitely a progression over the past five years. Our choices to build what we build has been influenced on all levels by our finely-tuned connection to how we build and why. No longer willing to believe that if we had everything we would be happy, we needed first to live within -- diving into the deep tunnels and hidden compartments of beliefs to make sure we know our contents, and own them. Last night Pete and I were glad to climb onto the futon after a hot shower toweled dry with a clean bath towel.

Pete had worked all day and into the early evening muscling the long sheets of weathered copper and red siding that will be our new Quonset. Steel is unforgiving in his tensile strength. Screwed in place against the curved frames there are slight wobbles to the shape of things, and the paint will need to off-gas more before my tender eyes do not weep from their volatility. Lengths of salvaged green canvas needs to be cut and sown into ribbons to hold our winter pouches of insulation in place. The wooden table under the apple tree waits for me to finish my ribbon-making; after a romp with words I tell the table and the green canvas ... soon back to you I'll come.

Settled onto the futon, under a jumble of cozy blankets we pushed into a movie and watched and listened to the story of Max and his wild rumpus with The Wild Things. Five years ago the reassembling process for these two old dears began in earnest. There was no turning back, only moving steadily forward down the stream, over the rapids and onto sand bars for rests and rejuvenation; then dive we do again as life awaits us.

“I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more...What I dread is the isolation. ... There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.”
― Maurice Sendak, Where the Wild Things Are

And you?

Animal Nature

Dense fog has settled upon the moku. "Ah, Spider is splendid in her work, capturing for a time the sweet dew and brings it close to our canopy.  Thank you Spider" Our night of sleep has been filled with the images of unlikely company and situations. They trail like wisps of fog. I cannot capture them as well as Spider, but there is a faint remembering. Sleeping unplugged--without electrical currents running through the vardo, we are refreshed and available to other streams of awareness and pela (perhaps) it is the chaos of non-human awareness that makes dreams such a different world. Outside I hear the squeak of the wringer from the Au Hale (the wash house) Pete is washing and wringing out clothes. Hopeful that the fog will burn off by noon I note the squeak has stopped, his foot-fall replaces the sounds as I finish the sentence and swallow the last of a freshly sliced, fresh picked peach.

The paths around our tiny home spaces are littered with the work of Squirrel harvesting and eating pine cones. Pitch is every where: under foot, under sock, on JOTS tail and paws, and if we are unprepared on pants bottoms pretty much permanently. Yesterday while Pete disassembled our Quonset kitchen preparing us for our winter look, we had time in between tasks to reflect upon the nature of our life here. "I think we are being prepared to become more animal than human," Pete said as we sat together. The statement was simple and unembellished; it felt right and I simply nodded. Kolonahe, the gentle breeze played with the wind chime dangling not far from the bench upon which we sat. The Tall Ones were quiet as the sun moved lower in the sky. They watch us as we are busy with our work, perhaps they watch us just as they watch and feel Squirrel move up and down their skin and talk between them remembering stories of other Squirrels or some Two Legs who lived before us.

My Scorpio nature enjoys the deeply private times that allow me to tell stories that make sense of inexplicable circumstances. I make them up, write them down, and sometimes they tatau my emotions holding on to a memory for too long. Fortunately, I believe this is fortune at any rate, I fuel my animal nature with astres (the stars, planets, the moon and sun and the heavens) and the inexplicable becomes more navigable. Right now, over at my astrologer's blog she writes about a Scorpio.

..."So many people are socialized to think they won’t have to raise a hand in life. It’s fine, until some bastard comes along who wants to kill your for sport.
With Uranus in Aries squaring Pluto, don’t be surprised if this storyline pops up in your life."

"Raising a hand in life." Just what does this mean in my life? Many things have forced me to raise my hand, make a move and take action to save my life. All around me I watch Squirrel and the Tall Ones maintain their lives, above me the Osprey Women dive and catch as their babies imitate. The Heron has come to our man-made pond because the season has dried out other fishing spots; only three planted goldfish remain. While I walked the beach with a new friend earlier this week she noticed things I hadn't: a sound behind us, the murky streak across the sky. The sluff of bank behind us was her signal for moving on. The evidence of forest fires on the other side of the Cascades, no rain for months, a message of interconnectedness.


This weekend Pete and I joined an intimate Story Circle at our local library. Five of us shared stories and began to know one another. I cut and fabricate simple props made from recycled cardboard cartons and paper; and netting we use to protect (with some success) our blueberries from the hungry birds. The props help me learn the story of "How 'Iole Saved Hawaii." As I cut the shapes each prop touched the stream of heart that takes a story deeper than memorization. The often maligned 'Iole -- The Rat, and his role in a time of famine was rendered into written form and offered to me as a gift for telling. Terri Windling writes of the magic and the responsibility of listening for language that is the domain of ALL. Not at all singular as a human activity, Windling has a blog post here that ties things together for me with inspiration from David Abram:

... "Entranced by the denotative power of words to define, to order, to represent the things around us, we've overlooked the songful dimension of language so obvious to our oral [storytelling] ancestors...

The gift and the responsibility of a writer, and a Scorpio like myself, is to hear the song in every thing around me. When I tell of 'Iole, "a skinny rat who has been surviving by eating the dried pitch on the stones ..." I hear and see how the pitch that sticks to every where here in the paths beside my Gypsy wagon is no less the pitch that sustained a rat in Hawaii a very long, long, long time ago.

What a difference

It might have been too much sugar and caffeine. Or, it might have been me exploring (exploding!) the fit of the Nodal Shift I made the other day. Regular readers know I study astrology with Elsa Panizzon via her blog ElsaElsa; I am not a astrologer. But, if there are new visitors a bit of history ... At a pivotal time I discovered Elsa on the Internet. She saved my life by telling me in essence "if all your friends are deserting you, you might as well float." The advice was so obtuse it made perfect sense. Struggling with the decay and disease I could not explain nor inoculate against, I began writing (this blog and others); helped my husband build a Gypsy wagon to live in and float through the high tide of Global Warming, sensitivities (in all its manifestations), and kept learning astrology via The Astrology Blog. Elsa was the first astrology blog on the Internet, and has proven to be a source of constancy while encouraging a cyber community that respects diversity and 'respect' in general. I'm one of the old gals who is a regular but 'low-key' contributor. I don't write or post much on her blog but participate when I am inspired by the writing or am particularly 'educated' by an interpretation, and am an appreciative student in Elsa's on-line classrooms. My history with Elsa began in 2008.

Earlier this week something Elsa said began to tickle at me like an itch just below the surface. It's not a new thing for Elsa, but it was a new potential for me. From the Boards a year ago I found this that says something about my ramble today.

Elsa wrote: Lots of people out there who have been at it as long as I have use these other systems. I don't know if they have ever tried equal.  people do get attached to their placements and if they move, people don't like it but I can't tell you how many times I have explained their equal house chart to someone and had them realize it described them, instantly.  It's just a no fail thing for me but I would not stop searching on my word. I am just weighing in.

The link to that Board post will give those who are interested, more discourse about the different House Systems(used or preferred when reading an astrological chart). For me, the shift from reading my astrological chart using the Placidus (uneven house) to Equal Houses does two things right away. First, my Scorpio Sun (that does not change when you change the House system) moves from the 10th to the 11th House. Second, my North Node in Taurus (again that does not change) but it does move my North Node from the 4th to the 5th House. The nodes of the moon are polar opposites and with the shift in the way I interpret my chart I am there with what Elsa wrote above: "I can't tell you how many times I have explained their equal house chart to someone and had them realize it described them, instantly.  It's just a no fail thing for me..." The North and South Node influences are a key marker for my life navigation. I've learned and applied a lot of the writing found at Elizabeth Spring's North Node Astrology website. What I'm experiencing with this Node Node-South Node move is: this feels more like me!

Elizabeth Spring writes about an 11th House South Node, "With the South Node in the 11th house, there’s a chance that you need to move up an octave in choosing friends who support you and your dreams, and also a need to leave behind peer pressure in any of its forms. It’s important for you to become clear on who you are and who you want to spend your time with—move away from the crowds or groups that simply fill your time, and find a few “heart-mates” instead of acquaintances, and look for the community or place where you really belong. Look around a bit, so that you can sit at the right “camp-fire.”  it’s time to take more risks, to reach for center stage, and to develop one’s confidence---even if it means allowing your childlike qualities to come out more, and for you to be more of a “character.” Spring's expertise and focus as an astrologer has taught me to examine the South and North Nodes; I've done that. Using my own chart and the patterns and challenges that come up or repeat themselves it makes sense for me to feel the shift in Houses within the signs for a deeper and clear sense of direction. She goes on to say, "Your fifth house North Node here wants to have more fun, and to see life as a game worth playing. It can bring out your entrepreneurial and artistic side as well. This Nodal axis wants to get personal—to risk the love affair, to have a child, to express itself creatively. It doesn’t need to get philosophical and talk about saving humanity---how about just one child at a time? And maybe that child could just be your inner child that’s been neglected for awhile..."

That's the thing with 'sugar and caffeine' and the explosion that took place over the passed couple of days. Too often I've capped off the childlike character to make peace at all costs. It's not a bad thing -- getting along-- but even that can be taken to excess. I'm feeling so close to defining myself so I can and do find people who will be friends with the me I am today. The journey through is messy, there's no way around it when the answers are down there in the muddle. The fun I wish for has hastened me, that little girl me, to remember a friend with curly red hair and freckles. We used to make up dance routines to songs like HARVEST MOON, and explored the wondrous taboos of breasts on friends who had them when we didn't. So long lost this old friendship. I wonder too often if I was ever that playful girl  with a friend who knew I was creative and goofy. But, I was and I still am. I love to make up stuff, love to dance and hope it's not too late to save that girl child. What a difference a move, a day, can make. Twenty-four little hours. Sing it Esther!

Serenity and stability ... A North Node in Taurus Story

Soul Purpose: serenity and stability, regaining a sense of the sacred in the ordinary, a sense of having earned and gained by one’s own efforts, honoring good traditions and preserving what is valuable for future generations.

Shadow: Looking to another for definition, self-confidence, or too much support. Taking things that aren’t yours. Collapsing into a felt sense of emotional pain from previous lives, and adapting an overly serious, gloomy attitude. Going to quickly into studying the occult and transpersonal realities, and thereby taking a spiritual bypass on your emotional life.


-Elizabeth Spring "North Node Astrology ... Taurus"

These are the 'Ole Moons before Mahina the moon becomes full; a good time to reflect and inventory the value of my life journey.  Before moving on to new ventures or projects, or as Earth People such as my Ancestors the Kanaka knew, the 'ole moons were a good time to make sure there were no leaks in the wa'a (canoe).  The week's focus in my Wa'a Mo'olelo, the storytelling workshop takes 'ole into account.  Before starting a new storytelling exercise we review the practice and process of creating and using rope or cord to remember a story.  I was stitting on the seawall steps with my friend yesterday.  We had just finished chanting E Ho Mai, the Aunty Edith Kanakaole chant asking for wisdom; we meet Saturday mornings at the water's edge giving our voice to the Akua and what answers come.  Pete was with us for the chant but as our time turned to grandmother talk he wandered on his own.

The morning was serene and the sky clear and beautiful.  The tide curled in miniature waves of such beauty.  If you did not notice you could miss the delicate movement or mistook the movement as an indication that the tide was coming in.  The eagle ate in the eel grass up shore from us.  On the seawall steps we perched and my friend asked me something about the Hawaiian culture.  She said she knew how the Maori view the topic of breath but wanted to know what the Hawaiian culture said about it.  Quickly I sorted through the index cards of notes in my mind the image of an old fashion Rolodex of cards and information remains.  What I shared with her was a compilation of stories that are culture as I understand it, bits of research and experiences that describe the why and the how of a cultural practice.  My explanation was a story rope that I had never shared in quite this way until she asked me.  The setting and sitting with time after 'oli, after having asked for the wisdom to know the seen and unseen at the moment opened the way.  Without expectation a question was posed and a story told.  "I hope this answered your question," I said when the story was pau.  She said it did.

Moments later someone called her name from the yard on the hill behind us.  A young man, the grandson of our mutual friend was there to cut the lawn.  He ended up coming to the steps with us and had a story of his own that would not wait to be told.  The two grandmothers listened to his youthful tale and more than once I was slapping my thigh and hooting with laughter at his adventure.  My friend had a phrase from the Maori to describe the tale that sought out the audience and recipient who would honor the story rope, this gift.  It slips from memory that name the Maori give.  But, the gift itself on this sacred ordinary morning is now a knot (or bead) on my story rope.  With space between us, my husband and I knot events and sacred ordinariness onto our personal story rope.  Air and ha the breath of life dances and we dance to be individual beings living a commitment to be coupled.  While my friend and I sat on the steps we were available for the youthful gift of young adventures.  Later still as I walked up the sloping steps to my friend's cottage she wrote me a check an "offering" for the work I do.  I was not expecting it, but received it heartily.

The North Node astrology for Taurus from Elizabeth Spring is one of the markers and revisted stories I call upon as I venture.  It's a healthy and helpful marker for me over time.  This 'ole moon I get this PURPOSE: "regaining a sense of the sacred in the ordinary, a sense of having earned and gained by one’s own efforts, honoring good traditions and preserving what is valuable for future generations." SHADOW:  "Looking to another for definition, self-confidence, or too much support. Taking things that aren’t yours." With space between the knots on my story rope there is room for my soul to feel at home in my skin.  And, the hooting laughter?  Priceless.

a hui hou.